Augoeides

Monday, July 2, 2007

The Vampire Peacock Menace

According to an unnamed source in New York City, crafty vampires are now assuming peacock form and inspiring a new breed of vampire hunter. Recently, a vigilant search of the Staten Island Burger King uncovered the hiding place of one of these unholy monsters atop a car in the parking lot. The fearless vampire peacock hunter then moved in for the kill.

Man attacks 'vampire' peacock

The bird had been sitting on top of a car in a Burger King car park in Staten Island, New York. It was being fed bread by the restaurants employees when it was attacked. Onlookers watched in horror as the man grabbed the bird by the neck, hurled it onto the ground and started stamping on it. When asked what he was doing the man replied: “I’m killing a vampire!” Employees called police, but the man ran when he saw them.

Mysteriously, the vampire peacocks eat bread like normal peacocks instead of drinking the blood of the innocent and have no problem with sunlight, also just like normal peacocks. In fact, were it not for the supernatural senses of the peacock vampire hunter it would be easy to conclude that these "vampires" are in fact no different in any way from the normal peacocks whose shapes they cunningly assume.

Unfortunately for garlic-free loaves of bread everywhere, this particular vampire was put down in the usual way following the attack rather than stabbed with a stake through the heart. So it will be back.

"Trevor! I pine for you!"

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