Augoeides

Monday, April 28, 2008

Sorcery in the News

You've probably already seen this story because it's so weird, but I still wanted to comment on it. According to reports from Congo, evil magicians are using their magical powers to steal men's penises.

Yes, that's right. Most of us study esotericism to expand consciousness and gain control over the events of our lives, but these particular African magicians apparently study so that eventually at the height of their powers they can walk off with somebody else's cock. Nice.

I wonder if the penis-enlargement spammers have caught on. It seems like they could put together a solid business model if those same African magicians were able to incorporate Western ideas that allow spellcasting at a distance. A powerful African magician could then steal all of the penises in a given city and spammers could hit all the e-mail addresses there with herbal penis-enlargement promotions.

Then again, maybe a lot of Congolese men are just superstitious and anxious about their masculinity. There's certainly plenty of that in the rest of the world, so why should Congo be any different?

In other news, Christian sorcerers "pray for lower gas prices." Yes, praying for material things is sorcery, though not all Christian groups see it that way. Obviously as a ritual magician I don't see anything wrong with it, and the world economy is chaotic enough that magical practices might be able to shift it around relatively easily, but I always find it amusing when people rail against magick but use it freely to further their own interests.

Of course, seeing as it was put together by a community organizer and not a minister or any sort of spiritual worker, this may just be a publicity stunt to get media attention. It appears to have worked in that regard.

UPDATE: This article is also classic. It's a parody, but too funny to pass over. Apparently the Dalai Lama uses his evil magical powers to "cause crops to fail and pigs to exhibit remorseful expression." Is that like putting a "bad word" on your neighbor's cow?

2 comments:

  1. 93 AQ,

    I keep having two thoughts: First, forget the penis enlargment can the sorceres use their powers to reatch the penis? If so I see a whole new market in selling other peoples dicks!!! Imagine the black market dealings "buy the cock of your favorite celebrity!"

    Second, I hope this kind of sorcery doesn't catch on. Drunken college party pranks are bad enough without that asshole foreign echange student from the congo causing your dick to fall off.

    Didn't say this in my previous comments but I dig your blog.

    93 93/93,

    -David-

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  2. Well, to be fair, the reports are not that the penis actually falls off but that it shrinks. The headline makes it sound more sensational, like each of these sorcerors has a cigar box at home filled with a bunch of ill-gotten weiners. So reattaching isn't really an issue - I guess once the spell is lifted the penis returns to its normal size. Penis theft does make for some pretty nasty college pranks, even if the effect is just shrinkage.

    I've often wondered why this sort of panic seems to be confined to specific societies, generally in Asia and Africa. It's not just a case of people being uneducated or superstitious - it also shows up in Japan which is a very modern First World country. In Japan, though, sorcerors don't get the blame, but instead sufferers see their disappearing genitals as some sort of illness.

    Needless to say, the real illness is a variant of Body Dismorphic Disorder that for some reason doesn't appear in European societies.

    Wikipedia has a whole article on "Penis Panics" here.

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