More Fun with Quantum Entanglement - Teleportation!

This has been a pretty good year so far for research on quantum entanglement, the phenomenon by which two particles can become invisibly linked to each other even when separated by great distances. As I've mentioned before, entanglement is a key component of contagion links in magick, and furthermore I'm convinced that by studying how entanglement works and the virtual space through which the particles remain connected we can make some real breakthroughs in terms of understanding how practical magical operations work.

The original Enochian magical system as taught to John Dee and Edward Kelley contains various classes of spirits including a group referred to as the Angels of Transportation. I have had a number of discussions over the years with other magicians speculating on whether or not it might be possible to teleport objects using these Angels. I have never gotten it to work myself, but imagine if you could actually do it. Better still, what if you could teleport yourself? With all the gas you would save going to and from your job it would pay for itself pretty quickly, even if you did need to build another Holy Table setup in your cubicle or office for the trip back home.

I've recently been re-reading much of the Enochian research I put together years ago, and one of the things that I realized is that nowhere in the material does it say that the Angels of Transportation transport things instantly. The actual conjuration refers to the Angels of Transportation as those:

whom our Creator has provided and given the skill, strength, and power to be able to transport or transfer any man or thing from one place to another, without injury, harm, offense, or damnation to that man or thing, whether the transference is near or far

A better reading of this probably indicates that what these Angels actually do is protect travelers on journeys, a pressing concern in the sixteenth century given all the dangers involved in travel by ship to North America.

Getting back to quantum entanglement, new research might give us a way to test the teleportation angle once and for all. Scientists announced today that they have achieved quantum teleportation of individual atoms. Up until now scientists could teleport photons, but not larger particles. So what's the magical angle? Here you go:

The method is not particularly practical at the moment, because it fails almost all of the time. Only 1 of every 100 million teleportation attempts succeed, requiring 10 minutes to transfer one bit of quantum information.

This suggests the following procedure:

(1) Perform the experiment as is some number of times and log the average amount of time it takes to teleport the atom. This is the control group.
(2) Summon the Angels of Transportation and charge them with transporting the atom.
(3) Run the same number of trials as in step 1 and log the average time it takes to teleport the atom.
(4) Dismiss the Angels and analyze the data. If the Angels of Transportation really can teleport objects, the average from step 3 should be a significantly shorter time period than the average from step 1.
(5A) If 1 is shorter than 3, the statistical variation between the two values is the probability shift produced by the magical operation. This implies some ability on the part of the Angels to affect teleportation.
(5B) If 1 is the same as or less than 3, the Angels of Transportation likely have no ability to teleport objects.

I can't imagine a genuine skeptic having a problem with this piece of research. It's a real experiment with no possibility for self-deception or mass hysteria or whatever process they usually invoke to explain away results that they don't like. If the results were positive it might even win James Randi's paranormal prize money - that is, if I had the "media presence" he's now requiring of all claimants and the necessary cooperation from the science team to actually run it.

Here's a question for any other magicians out there - have you ever successfully teleported an object? If so, what were the circumstances under which it happened?