Augoeides

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Poor Oppressed Christians Jump the Shark

So I held off on posting this one over the weekend because I wanted to make sure that it wasn't a parody. It sure sounds like one, complete with breathless freaking out about something so pointless it's hard to imagine that anyone could be bothered by it. But the story surprisingly appears to be real. Here's the deal.

For years, Starbucks coffee shops have changed the design of their cups for the Christmas season to designs incorporating red and green with images of snowmen, snowflakes, trees, and so forth. This year, the chain decided to dispense with any wintery images and go with a plain red and green design, shown above. To the Poor Oppressed Christians, the lack of snowmen and snowflakes means that Starbuck's hates Jesus.

Seriously? How stupid are these people?

The coffee chain’s seasonal designs are remixed each year, but this year’s tri-color tone of red, green and white has apparently angered some religious leaders for declaring a so-called “war on Christmas.”

“Starbucks REMOVED CHRISTMAS from their cups because they hate Jesus,” wrote former Arizona pastor Joshua Feuerstein in a viral Facebook post that had at least 8 million views Saturday night.

Student pastor Nate Weaver at the Crosspointe Christian Church in Sarasota, Fla., vowed to never visit Starbucks ever again. “I’m officially banning Starbucks from my life,” Weaver wrote in a Facebook post Saturday.

What this implies is the the Poor Oppressed Christians seriously believe that snowflakes, snowmen, and Christmas trees are Christian symbols. In fact, the Christmas (or Yule) tree is actually pagan, and the others are generic symbols of winter. So I guess they're trying to argue that their religion owns the entire season, and anyone who says otherwise is "declaring war" on them.

It also says to me that they're getting so desperate to relevant to the culture of the modern world that they're willing to feed outrage that is completely pointless. This year, unlike the last few, I'm finally seeing a lot of conservatives commenting on how dumb this is, and maybe if we're lucky this will be the year that the "war on Christmas" finally becomes such a stupid idea that nobody remotely reasonable takes it seriously.

Fingers crossed, folks!

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