Augoeides

Friday, April 29, 2016

It's Goatman!

Recently a new photograph of Maryland's Goatman has been circulating on the Internet. So is it real? Goatman is a completely goofy urban legend, a half-man half-goat created by 1970's genetic research gone wrong who now haunts the woods of Prince Georges County on the outskirts of Washington, DC.

The urban legend itself is absolutely absurd. The creature haunts Maryland make out spots, and leaps out at passionate young couples brandishing an ax. The creature was also blamed for locally high-profile pet mutilations in the 1970s.

Many reputable sightings of strange creatures do occur in Bowie, Baltimore, and several other densely populated areas in and around the Washington area, though almost all of the sightings describe large, upright, hairy hominids which sound much more like the equally legendary Bigfoot. Literally hundreds of these sightings have been collected in Mark Opsasnick’s essential book, The Maryland Bigfoot Digest. Hardly any of the people who’ve allegedly seen what they call the Goatman, actually describe a creature like the one in the photo.

I do not agree with WBAL’s assertion that the photograph depicts a bear carrying a dead goat. That’s asinine. The Goat’s head clearly belongs to the body of the hairy creature pictured. I do not, however, believe this to be a legitimate photograph of Goatman. I would never accuse the photographer of being untruthful, but I do believe he, himself to be the victim of a hoax. The whole thing is just too good to be true.

Sadly, I have to agree. The photograph is "real" for what it is, but it's also pretty obviously somebody running around in a costume. It should also be noted that Goatman's iconic fire axe is nowhere to be seen in the picture. An omission on the part of the hoaxer, perhaps?

Goatman is a funny enough legend that maybe for once I agree with an argument made by sasquatch skeptics back in the late 1970's. There very well could be more people out there running around in costumes than anyone realizes.

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