Totally Not Ghosts

The porn shoot in question looked absolutely nothing like this

I always like to point out that the key to successfully investigating the paranormal is understanding that most phenomena have normal rather than paranormal causes. A number of haunting symptoms can be triggered by electromagnetic fields, weird noises can be regular sounds filtered through unusual architecture, and so forth. But paranormal investigator Mike Covell was still surprised when his investigation of mysterious moans and groans in an allegedly haunted British cemetery led him to a porn shoot.

Expert Mike Covell, 37, was leading the party through the ‘haunted’ cemetery when they heard groans.

The group hurried off to investigate but were stunned to find a couple having sex in a patch of ivy.

Two other men, with cameras and sound equipment, were so busy filming the romp they did not notice their audience.

Paranormal expert Mike, of TV’s Most Haunted and Most Haunted Live, said: “The woman was in her 30s and when she saw us she pushed the bloke off, pulled up her knickers and ran.

“They were going at it like rabbits. She was a blonde in her 30s and still had her knickers around her ankles.

“We looked at her and she looked at us. Then she pushed the bloke off her, pulled up her knickers and bolted.

“The guy ran after her, desperately trying to protect his privates from the brambles. We didn’t know where to look."

Clearly all of the paranormal accounts from this cemetery are probably not related to porn shoots, but one does have to consider the "Scooby Doo" effect that could involve porn producers wanting people to be scared of the cemetery so they can shoot there without interference. You know, besides interference from paranormal investigators trying to figure out what all the fuss is about.

"And we would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling ghost hunters!"