Augoeides

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Zombie Hunter Arrested

The crime scene in North Saint Paul looked absolutely nothing like this

Here's a story that hits disturbingly close to home. Huffington Post reports that a man was arrested just across town in North Saint Paul after firing an AR-15 rifle into a home. The man told police that he was hunting zombies, which I guess are supposed to be on the prowl in an otherwise ordinary Twin Cities suburb. The bullet broke a window, but fortunately did not injure anyone inside the home.

Amid a growing wave of creepy clown sightings, arrests and anti-clown violence, Ryan Stanislaw is taking us back to a simpler, more innocent time. You know, when a zombie apocalypse was the cool thing to have nightmares about.

Stanislaw was arrested Saturday after allegedly firing into a home while “hunting zombies” at around 5 a.m. in North St. Paul, Minnesota, Fox 9 News reports. Police say a bullet from an AR-15 rifle shattered the window of Ken Quaale, who was asleep at the time.

Luckily, the bullet narrowly missed Quaale’s head, ricocheting off the walls of his bedroom, he said.

Stanislaw, 24, allegedly told police he was simply out “making sure my neighborhood is safe” and that he was aiming at “a zombie.” He was also carrying bullets marketed as anti-zombie ammunition.

Wow. Just wow. The article goes on to state that Stanislaw has no history of mental illness, which I highly doubt. There's also no mention in the article of whether or not alcohol was involved, but I suspect that it probably was. Either that, or the undead really have started hunting the living in North Saint Paul, pretty much the last place you would expect to find them.

But then, maybe that's been their plan all along.

No comments:

Post a Comment