Kim Jong Un Can Control the Weather

At least, that's the latest claim from North Korea's official state newspaper, known for spreading all sorts of ridiculous propaganda about the country's ruling family. Augoeides has previously covered Kim Jong Il's discovery of a unicorn lair and the sad story of North Korean weather mourning his death in 2011. Now if the younger Kim really can control "the nature," as the paper contends, I guess that makes him a wizard. Right?

After releasing images this weekend of a smiling Kim on top of Mount Paektu, an active volcano on the China and North Korea border, the nation's state media said the "peerlessly illustrious commander" can control "the nature." The evidence for this weather modification?

When Kim "ascended" to the top of the 9,000-foot mountain through thick snow wearing his signature double-breasted winter coat and black leather shoes, a blizzard gave way to "fine weather unprecedented."

Kim was apparently responsible for this moment of sunshine on what should have been, according to a North Korean government statement, a dreary winter day.

"Mount Paektu presented charming scenery showing magic peaks and dazzling sunshine on its clear and blue waves," the account of Kim's journey up the mountain published in North Korea's official state newspaper Rodong Sinmun said.

In fact, weather modification is one of those areas where magick does work pretty well. But I doubt that Kim is a magical practitioner of any sort. Why bother to put in the time learning magick when you control a newspaper that will happily tell the world you have paranormal power whether or not you actually do? For that matter, when you're a dictator you can just order people around rather than messing with complicated stuff like calling up spirits.