Civil War Tomorrow!

Okay, I confess. I just can't bring myself to lay off Alex Jones.

At least, not when he's busy posting bullshit like the above. "The Democrats," by which he basically means "the boogymen," are apparently planning a full-on civil war for Independence Day. You know, tomorrow! Lock your doors and windows, folks. There'll be fighting on every corner and bloodshed in every street. Because it's a civil war, man - the last one killed a million people!

Note to Alex Jones - a million people killed is totally different than a million people yelled at on the Internet. And yes, Jones has shown himself capable of doing the latter all on his own. So is this his whole plan?

1. Accuse Democrats of starting a civil war.
2. When actual Democrats call him an idiot, insist that's exactly the same as a war.
3. Go on and on about how "I was right!"
4. Profit???

I know, I'm playing right into his hand if that's what's going on. The thing is that Alex Jones has a special and unique power. More than just about anyone else out there in the world, he's capable of behaving in such a way that you seriously can't help calling him an idiot.

And I suppose he may be in the one business - talk radio - where that superpower is an asset rather than a liability. Insults create controversy. Controversy drives coverage. Coverage drives listeners. And it sounds simple, but honestly, I don't think I could act as dumb and offensive as Alex Jones if my life depended on it.

So Alex Jones, you're an idiot. That's exactly what you wanted me to say, right?


UPDATE: It's July 5th, and the Second Civil War is already over. But the struggle has been well documented on Twitter and Facebook. A book is currently in the works.

For all of Alex Jones' faults, let it never be said that he fails to entertain...