"Prophet" Dave Daubenmire Suing NFL

Dave Daubenmire has been mentioned here on Augoeides before. He's one of those Christian talk radio personalities who claims to be a prophet and then spouts a bunch of nonsensical crap. Over the years he's covered weather terrorists, drinking fetus blood, and aborting babies for Satanic rituals. As you can probably guess, none of those things are true or real. Daubenmire's latest cause is suing the NFL because the Super Bowl halftime show was too sexy and therefore "endangered his immortal soul."

The halftime show at this year’s Super Bowl, featuring Shakira and Jennifer Lopez dancing in daring outfits onstage, drew fury from right-wing Christians — as two middle-aged women of color showing skin is apparently more shameful to them than the president of the United States bragging about assaulting women.

But according to Right Wing Watch, one Christian activist, Dave Daubenmire, is taking things even further. On his “Pass the Salt” podcast, Daubenmire said that he plans to sue the National Football League because the halftime show threatens to prevent him “from getting into the kingdom of Heaven.” “I think we ought to sue,” said Daubenmire.

“Would that halftime show, would that have been rated PG? Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son—whose hormones are just starting to operate – was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?”

Well, signs point to "yes," because every year Christian activists complain that the halftime show is too racy. Everybody knew up front it was going to be female pop stars singing and dancing, and anybody who knows anything about such performances knows that they are going to be at least a little suggestive no matter what. So it seems to me that he totally should have known and not let the kid watch, if he really believes what he says.

“Could I go into a courtroom and say, ‘Viewing what you put on that screen put me in danger of hellfire’?” he continued. “Could the court say, ‘That doesn’t apply here because the right to [produce] porn overrides your right to [not] watch it’? Yeah, well, you didn’t tell me I was gonna watch it! You just brought it into my living room. You didn’t tell me there were gonna be crotch shots! That’s discriminatory against the value I have in my house. You can’t just do that. I wanna sue them for about $867 trillion.”

And all I can say to that is wow. Just wow. Imagine a deity so twisted that he sends people off to be tortured for all eternity just because they happened to get sexually excited by something they were incidentally exposed to. I don't buy demiurge theology for the most part, but if I were presented with absolute proof that such a deity actually rules over the universe and does what Daubenmire says, I would have to revise my stance and conclude that an evil deity really was in charge. Such a being could not possibly be good, full stop.

Of course, I don't believe in Daubenmire's abusive father in the sky, and I also find it utterly confusing that anyone else would want to. I know that children who grow up in evangelical households usually end up leaving the faith because it's so ridiculous, but at the same time they keep attracting new followers. Evangelical churches do raise a lot of energy, which offers a stark contrast to mainstream churches that are more sedate. But the trade-off there is that you apparently have to believe in Daubenmire's messed-up god.

And it's clear that he doesn't care about you if anything Daubenmire is saying here is true. You get incidentally exposed to something a little racy just out of the blue, and that's enough to condemn you for eternity. It seems to me there must be a lot of condemned souls out there carrying water for the very god that is all set to throw them into the fires of hell the moment they depart the earthly realms. Or maybe, just maybe, Daubenmire and the folks who share his beliefs are full of shit.