All The Wrong Angels

The United States presidential election has been the big story this last week. Joe Biden defeated Donald Trump and will become our next president. As you all well know, I can't stand Trump and am very happy to see him voted out. But among the folks who are less happy is Trump's spiritual adviser, prosperity gospel preacher Paula White. White worked herself into a frenzy on Wednesday trying to conjure angels to secure Trump's victory.

President Donald Trump's spiritual advisor Paula White led a passionate prayer event on Wednesday in a bid to secure his reelection.

During a prayer broadcast livestreamed on her YouTube channel, White claimed that "demonic confederacies" were attempting to steal the election from Trump. "I hear victory, victory, victory, victory in the quarters of heaven," White said as she closed her eyes and gestured passionately.

At one point White proclaimed that "angels are being dispatched right now" and appeared to speak in tongues. "Angels are being dispatched from Africa right now," she said, adding, "They're coming here."

Here's the thing, though. It's not like people in Africa particularly like Donald Trump. Neither do people in South America, which she also named. Much of Trump's talk about "shithole countries" was directed at nations on those two continents. As I've mentioned multiple times, spirits including angels have individual personalities just like people do. There's no reason to think that African or South American angels like Trump when people from those countries don't. I mean, it's possible, but I wouldn't think it likely.

So even if Paula White is able to conjure angels - I doubt it, personally, but you never know - she's calling on all the wrong ones. And of course, she's casting a spell. She's getting herself all worked up and then calling on angels to perform a specific task, to deliver an election victory for Trump. She seems pretty "enflamed" in prayer, as Aleister Crowley would say. But no matter how into a spell you are, it won't to work if you call on the wrong spirits to do the job.

I seriously think the world would be a better place if Christians just admitted that casting spells is what they're doing when they pray for specific things. We occultists work with different deities than their version of Jesus, but the difference is one of religion rather than technology and there's rarely anything particularly sinister about it. At least, no more sinister than trying to cast death spells by means of "imprecatory prayer," which granted is pretty freaking sinister.

Biden is a moderate Democrat and more conservative than me. But even so, I will be happy to have a president not beholden to these fundamentalist nutters. There's this guy, who insists people will have sex with cows when Biden becomes president. There's this pastor demanding another election because Trump lost. And there's every person out there who believes that there are enough occultists in the world do anything the QAnon conspiracy alleges.

As of January 20th of 2021 none of these folks will have "their guy" in the White House. And frankly, that right there is a beautiful thing.