"Ringmaster" Ghost Torments Wannabe Exorcist

This story sounds simultaneously so over-the-top and so plot-of-a-bad-eighties-sitcom that I think it's probably fake, but what the heck. According to this article from the British tabloid Daily Mirror, a woman broke up with her exorcist boyfriend after a ghost followed him home. It wasn't just any ghost either - it was the ghost of a "seven foot circus ringmaster." Cue the hordes of evil undead clown minions!

A heartbroken man says his girlfriend dumped him because the ghost of a 7-ft tall circus ringmaster followed him home from an exorcism. Ed Booker, 37, took part in the sinister ritual to rid a home of evil spirits - but he never realised the horrifying consequences it would have on his life.

He claims his health rapidly went downhill and unexplainable things started happening after he participated in the paranormal cleansing. He says 'DIE' was scrawled on the inside of his windows and he even snapped an image showing the menacing circus worker lurking down a darkened corridor.

You know, I take that back. It's not a bad eighties sitcom. It's basically a bad eighties horror movie that's unintentionally hilarious. Now maybe that photo is of a ghost. Or maybe it's just a shadow that freaked the guy out. It sort of looks like the outline of a person, but it could be a lot of other things too.

I understand that being around the paranormal can seriously unnerve people, and that spirits can get pissed off at people and basically harass them. Spirits can usually read minds, so if they have the power to manifest something and they want to mess with you, it usually will be something you're already scared of.

So that makes me wonder if this guy has a circus-related phobia. Probably not just a fear of clowns - that's way too pedestrian for a case like this.

Ed has always been interested in the supernatural, and he has also taken part in several exorcisms as part of a ghost-hunting group. The dark tale started when he and a team of paranormal investigators were called to rid a family home of dark forces, which had been tormenting the teenage son and his friends in Horsham, West Sussex.

The events of that night were recently chronicled in Channel 4 docudrama True Horror. Ed said: “We didn’t like it as soon as we walked through the front door. Even the sceptics in the group didn’t want to go in. “When it came to do the clearing it just felt wrong. There were a lot of spirits there, all very negative.

“Then this figure came up in the middle of us - I can only describe it as a circus ringmaster, dressed all in black with a big top hat and a shovel on its shoulder. It was just staring at us with a grin full of dirty, broken teeth. It was an awful experience really. You never dream of something like this happening but it is real and it can happen.”

Three comments. First, this story is related to an episode of a reality television series, so that makes me question it more right there than I would a ghost story from out of the blue. It's not that all paranormal shows are inherently unbelievable - I've seen a few cases where it looked like they turned up real evidence. And yet, reality tv stars become reality tv stars by getting a lot of attention - like claiming you were attacked by a ghost might accomplish.

Second, has he looked up anything about Baron Samedi? The apparition sounds a lot more similar to that than a "circus ringmaster." It's possible the site could have some connection to Afro-Caribbean ritual, and let me tell you, if you manage to piss off Baron Samedi, that's... well, it's bad. That's all I'm going to say.

And third - the absolute most important point. If you don't know anything about magick, and don't really believe in magick, and "can't imagine" anything like this happening to you? Dude, don't do fucking magick. You cannot just sit there and recite the Rite of Exorcism and expect it to work. The ritual itself doesn't have any power of its own. It's powered by you.

So is this real? Who knows. If it is, though, it makes for a cautionary tale, and Booker needs to find a magician who can cast an actual spell to get rid of the ghost. Either that, or he needs to take up the study and practice of real magick on his own - and getting good enough to drive off a spirit this powerful will take some time and dedication.