Yeti Blood Oath

For the last couple of years I have been remiss in reporting much of the weird news that I used to cover here on Augoeides. This story, though, grabbed my attention and would not let go. It has seminarians, cryptids, and a bizarre ritual all mixed up into one of the weirdest accounts that I have ever come across.

In January 2024, seminarians from Denver’s St. John Vianney Theological Seminary were taken on a ski trip at which they were encouraged to make individual “blood oaths” to a yeti-like figure. The Archdiocese of Denver dismissed the actions as an “inappropriate prank,” while also removing the priest responsible from their leadership position. Father John Nepil, who was charged with responsibility, spoke to The Pillar and acknowledged his wrongdoing by again asserting that it was a “prank” that took a bad turn.

As 15 seminarians slept in their retreat house, they were suddenly awakened and invited into a trailer to meet Nepil and a man dressed in a yeti suit – along with a dagger stained with a substance resembling blood. Video obtained by The Pillar shows that a seminarian was told that the oath was a part of a “sacred tradition” and how this was the only way he could “enter the family.” “The way it works, the only way you can enter into this family, is you got to make a blood oath,” a seminarian was told. “If you enter into this family, there’s no going back.”

An investigation found that the "blood oath" was indeed a prank, something akin to a fraternity hazing. No blood was drawn and no actual oaths were ever sworn. But I still want to know who came up with the idea. Was it Nepil himself? If so, he would seem to possess a uniquely twisted and singularly hilarious mind. Because I can't imagine for the life of me what would prompt him to come up with this as some sort of "initiation" for seminarians. The Yeti costume alone is flat-out inspired.

In fact, maybe the "prank" angle is all spin. Could Nepil be the founder of new Yeti religion? Stranger things have happened, and some of them are almost this funny. The idea of new religious movement build on simulated Yeti blood oaths is something I will for sure cover here on the blog if anything like it ever comes to light. The whole idea is inspirational, at least when it comes to inspiring laughter.

Via Solis Cancer Elixir Rite - Year Nine

Today's post is a full script for the Cancer Elixir Rite that we will be performing tomorrow, Tuesday July 8th, at Leaping Laughter Lodge in Minneapolis, MN. Doors will open at 7:30 with the ritual to start around 8 PM.

0. The Temple

The ritual space is set up with an altar table in the center. The bell chime, banishing dagger, and invoking wand are placed on the altar. In the center of the altar is placed a cup of wine for creating the elixir, within the Table of Art corresponding to Cancer. The sign Cancer is attributed to "The power of casting enchantments." As I interpret it, this is related to the ability to magnetize or draw things into your life in accordance with your will. So those sorts of intents are most appropriate. The Via Solis Elixir Rites were written by Michele Montserrat in 2010 for the Comselh Ananael magical working group.

I. Opening

All stand surrounding the altar. Officiant inhales fully, placing the banishing dagger at his or her lips. The air is then expelled as the dagger is swept backwards.

Officiant: Bahlasti! Ompehda!

Officiant then performs the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. All rotate accordingly.

Officiant: We take refuge in Nuit, the blue-lidded daughter of sunset, the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night sky, as we issue the call to the awakened nature of all beings, for every man and every woman is a star.

All: MAKAShANaH

Officiant: We take refuge in Hadit, the secret flame that burns in every heart of man and in the core of every star, as we issue the call to our own awakened natures, arousing the coiled serpent about to spring.

All: ABRAHADABRA

Officiant: We take refuge in Heru-Ra-Ha, who wields the wand of double power, the wand of the force of Coph Nia, but whose left hand is empty for he has crushed an universe and naught remains, as we unite our awakened natures with those of all beings everywhere and everywhen, dissolving all obstacles and healing all suffering.

All: AUMGN

Officiant: For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect.

All: All is pure and present are and has always been so, for existence is pure joy; all the sorrows are but as shadows; they pass and done; but there is that which remains. To this realization we commit ourselves – pure and total presence. So mote it be.