What Manifesting Looks Like

Over the years the magical blogosphere has slowly been developing what I would describe as its own distinct style of magick. The techniques involved are not limited to any one school or symbol set, but taken together they represent a coherent approach to the work with a somewhat different emphasis from what has come before. In my opinion much of this emphasis comes from a mature understanding of the relationship between magical operations and probability. Whereas many writers of the past treat magick as a fundamentally mysterious and tempermental force, most "blogosphere" magicians operate from the perspective that (A) there is a limit to the degree of probability shift that a magical operation can produce, and (B) the best way to obtain magical success is to perform the necessary mundane steps toward your goal that will place its likelihood within that range. Sure, you can go through older sources like the works of Aleister Crowley and figure those principles out, and the chaos magick approach is based on a similar attitude with regard to probability. But these days, probably the most straightforward published work explaining this approach is longtime blogger Jason Miller's The Sorcerer's Secrets.

Frater Barrabbas recently posted an article explaining his motivations for practicing magick, beginning with his longing for miraculous powers during his teen years and culminating in the deeper realizations that inform his practice today. The sweep of his narrative strikes me as an excellent example of how we should answer the question of magical motivations regardless of our perspective on the work. We practice magick because it makes our lives better. "Better" is by its very nature subjective, and highly dependent upon where we are in our lives. A bored teenager might find that even a fanciful and inaccurate idea of what magick is and how it works serves to enrich his or her inner life, while a more experienced practitioner might seek to expand his or her consciousness, increase the likelihood of particular beneficial material events, or more than likely both. But when your magick diminishes your life or causes suffering, it's not a badge of honor or a sign of courage or whatever the just-world hypothesis might want you to believe. It means that you're doing something wrong.

Mercury in July

You probably have noticed that the number of articles posted here declined dramatically in July. This was partially due to my being away for Convergence over the weekend of the 4th, but mostly because Mercury essentially unloaded on me over the course of the last couple of weeks. Now, problems related to Mercury do manifest from time to time, but I found it odd that so many of them seemed to hit at once.

1. My PC died. This turned out to be pretty easy to fix - the problem was the CPU fan went out and the machine was overheating.
2. I took my car in to a mechanic because it was making a noise that I thought was from something in the exhaust. It turned out that the problem was inside the engine and would cost substantially more to fix than the car is worth. I decided I would be better off buying another car with a lot fewer miles, since in my experience replacing or rebuilding an engine isn't worth it unless you can do the labor yourself.
3. My Internet router died. Replacing it wound up being a serious pain. The first one I got was nice but I couldn't get it to connect to my ISP for some reason that tech support couldn't help me with. I returned that one and picked up the recommended model, which worked at first but died the next day. I exchanged that one for another of the same model and that one appears to be working.
4. The one issue I'm still having is that my phone, which is on a VOIP router, is still down. For some reason it seems like the VOIP router can't connect properly to the new Internet router. I'm still in the process of getting that fixed, but at least I have Internet back.

I would say that some of this was related to the record hot weather here in Minnesota, and maybe that had something to do with the car. But the thing is, my home is air conditioned and there's no reason to think that the heat would have affected the various electronics. Even during the big heat wave the temperature stayed the same inside my house.

I took a look at the astrology and my best guess is that Mercury was in sextile with both Saturn and Mars, the major and minor malefic. Sextiles are not normally considered negative aspects, but one of the things I realized is that as I replaced these various failing components I found that I liked the replacements a lot better. The old CPU fan that came with my PC was rather loud when it ran on full and the new one is whisper-quiet. The car I bought, a Chrysler Sebring (I'm a convertible enthusiast), is much nicer than the Sunfire convertible it replaced. The router seems to be working about the same, but we'll see how that goes over the next couple of months.

So the normal interpretation of a sextile, as an opportunity for positive action, seems to fit my situation pretty well. I just wish it hadn't been quite so expensive to take advantage of it.

Everything Still Works

I have to admit that this comment from almondveined on the original thread about my gallbladder surgery scared the heck out of me.

Probably as a result of the surgery weakening my diaphragm I developed a hiatal hernia and with it more or less lost the ability to do any sort of energy manipulation. My guess is it's due to vagus nerve entrapment.

Anyway, all I can advise is for you to avoid stressing your abdomen too much. Avoid heavy weights and don't let yourself get constipated. I've been almost cut off from the spiritual for two years now and it sucks.

It never really occurred to me prior to the surgery that this was even a possibility. One of my Qigong teachers was really down on gallbladder removal, but even he admitted that with the gallbladder out the energy meridian was still present and could be worked with.

I use Qigong-based energy work extensively in my ceremonial practices and if that were to quit working I'm not sure what I would be able to come up with as a workaround. I'd probably have to see about doing more traditional grimoire evocation and summoning up more spirits rather than relying on my own power for simple stuff, but that could become a hassle pretty fast given that in my day-to-day life I use magick all the time. The whole point of just willing simple stuff to happen is that it's more convenient than going through the whole temple setup and ritual procedure.

I've been back at work for two weeks now but my recovery has been a little slower than usual, probably due to the internal bleeding from the original surgery. Nonetheless, I am happy to report that I've been running through my Qigong sets and all of my energy work techniques still seem to produce the same effects and my diaphragm breathing is mostly unaffected by the remaining suture sites. So it seems that I've dodged a bullet there, and I offer my thanks to everyone who sent some healing my way. Every little bit helps.

I hope to be back up to full speed shortly get back to more interesting blogging. Lately I haven't had the energy for much writing besides some short pieces for my new author website, but I expect that to change soon.

Thanks for your patience!

I'm Back, But a Little Bit Lighter

Some of you are probably wondering where I went over the last week, with no new posts or updates despite having a new book out on the shelves and plenty of reasons to drum up publicity. While I wasn't hit by house fires, earthquakes, or Pat Robertson being his usual dumbass self, I wound up spending this last week in the hospital without any access to the blog or e-mail. I'm finally back home, or at least most of me is.

The part that's now missing is my gallbladder, which had to be removed because of problems with gallstones that I've been dealing with for about nine years. 31 is quite young to develop gallstones, so clearly I must have been born with the economy model or something. When I was first diagnosed and offered the surgery I decided I was going to try a combination of supplements and healing spells - and they worked. The problem seemed to resolve itself and didn't show up again until about two months ago. This time around my alternative remedies failed, so I checked myself into the hospital a week ago to get the operation done.

A few random observations:

(1) I know that some Western ceremonialists look kind of funny at the Asian chackra model in which the Manipura (abdominal/digestion) is attributed to Fire and the Anahata (heart) is attributed to Air. But if you've ever had a serious abdominal problem you know why - nothing knocks out your Qi like an abdominal problem.

(2) When your Qi is knocked out by an abdominal problem it's really hard to keep up your practices. I wound up slacking for two weeks, and sure enough had some internal bleeding from the surgery. When my practices are solid I'm the opposite of Murphy's Law - if something can work, it will.

(3) While getting yourself addicted to anything is a bad idea, I now really understand why folks like Coleridge loved their laudanum so much for composition. Thanks in part to post-surgical morphine I made what still seems like a significant breakthrough on putting together a story that I've been working on for awhile. I'll be interesting in finding out where that one leads.

(4) I do feel like I'm recovering well at this point, but healing spells and the like are always welcome if you feel moved to do them.

As I mentioned I have been out of e-mail contact for the last week and am trying to catch up everything. If you sent me a message and have not received a response don't worry, it was nothing you said. I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.