Thai Magick Update: So It Worked?

Following up on the political crisis in Thailand, the used sanitary napkin spell appears to have worked. And I suppose shutting down the international airport didn't hurt, either. The People's Alliance for Democracy has succeeded in forcing the party of Prime Minister Somchai Wongsawat to disband.

So is the crisis over? Somchai's allies claim that they will form a new coalition government, so it remains to be seen how this will play out. But as of this moment in Thailand it looks to be a pretty good day for menstrual blood. Hey, the best blood is of the moon monthly, right?

Review: A Haunting Seasons 1 and 2

Over the Thanksgiving holiday I had a chance to watch seasons one and two of "A Haunting," a television series produced by the Discovery Channel about encounters with ghosts and other paranormal manifestations. As anyone who knows me will tell you, I'm a real fan of shows like this and I'll watch and enjoy just about any sort of paranormal documentary. Not only do I find them entertaining, but I often take away bits of folklore that might someday prove useful in my magical practice.

"A Haunting" features dramatizations that are essentially somewhat hokey, so if you're not a B-movie fan like me you might find them distracting or downright annoying. However, they are pretty well-done for the genre and the show manages to be more interesting and entertaining than most of the other paranormal shows that I've seen the Discovery Channel produce. The incidents dramatized on the show follow the familiar "haunted house" narrative. Usually a couple or family moves into a new home and encounters small, unexplained disturbances. These escalate until the homeowners are compelled to take action, which usually means calling in paranormal investigators, priests, mediums, or all of the above to resolve the haunting.

One of the main things that I took away from the show is that paranormal investigators are useless. Seriously. I don't know if that was the producers' intention, but the tactics that they use to resolve the haunting usually fail. The investigators spend a lot of time documenting things like temperature shifts and odd occurances, and do research to find out the "reason" for the haunting. Here's a news flash - this idea that spirits haunt a house for some external reason and that once get what they want they will just leave is a literary device, not any sort of factual observation. Spirits stay in a place because they want to stay, and they usually are not about to be talked out of it or appeased.

At the same time, priests are called upon in a number of the cases to bless the house or expel the spirits and that usually doesn't work either. In fact, it tends to make the spirits mad and often the manifestations increase. While there's nothing wrong per se with the Roman Catholic magical system, this show pretty much confirms my suspicion based on my own studies that the Church doesn't have many people in it these days with real magical talent. Furthermore, the intercessory structure of the rites implies that such ability might not be required, except that to perform effective magick you just do need it and there are no workarounds.

Mediums present the opposite problem. You would expect someone who studies ghosts to have a reasonable grasp of magical techniques, but with mediums that doesn't seem to be the case. Aleister Crowley referred to spiritualism as "low-grade necromancy" for a reason - most of the mediums on the show practice the "yoo hoo, come and get me" school of invocation. No circle, no ritual forms, nothing that might allow them to control the spiritual energy that they are trying to summon up. And, no surprise, they often get themselves into trouble and have to break contact with the entities, and they generally can't talk the ghosts into leaving. The trouble with mediums is not a lack of talent, but a lack of skill. Unlike magicians, they seem to rely solely on intuition and raw ability. This lack of discipline makes their powers unreliable at best.

So I suppose you can see where I'm going with this - to expel a ghost you need a magician who has both natural talent and a disciplined spiritual practice. Such an individual can get rid of a ghost with a simple banishing field - the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram followed by the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram, which will flatten all spiritual influences in the area where it is cast. You do need to make sure that the anchor, the point in the house from which the spirits emanate, is within the field, but other than that it's pretty easy. If you can't find the anchor spot, set up a matrix of talismans around the entire property to extend the banishing field and you should be able to shut down any paranormal activity within its boundaries.

So, you might ask, am I willing to put my money where my mouth is and clear ghosts from a house? Sure! In fact, if you have a poltergeist that can actually move stuff around get in touch with me. I have this idea about binding it into a crystal so that I can have it bring me sodas from the refrigerator when I'm hanging out on the couch watching TV. I mean, my magician friends would be so impressed!

Want to buy your own copy of A Haunting Seasons 1 and 2? Order from my Books and Media page and you can help support Augoeides.

Witchcraft Versus Poverty?

The idea that one should stop using magick in order to alleviate poverty is kind of surprising, given that many spells exist to produce wealth. If you're a magician, you presumably believe that your spells work and can therefore make you more prosperous, whereas if you are a skeptic you presumably believe that such spells accomplish nothing and therefore can't make you poorer unless you spend a lot of money on materials or hire a con artist to cast them for you.

However, this never even occured to me. Addressing the Ugandan Alur people, Anglican archbishop Henry Luke Orombi comments:

“People still share one grass-thatched hut with goats, children, chicken and ducks. You Alur people should have trust in God and stop witchcraft. Stop giving yourselves names like Kumakech (I am unlucky), Ajaruva and Masedi (disturbance), among others associated with poverty,” he said.

“An Alur will not want to see his fellow Alur prospering; they prefer seeing other tribes developing as they bewitch themselves. An Alur will wake up at night and sprinkle blood on the doorway of his fellow Alur who is developing. We must stop this backward habit.”

The remark about having trust in God is pretty much standard for a Christian official addressing witchcraft believers, but if the rest is what actually is going on in Uganda the country must be full of lousy magicians. One of the main arguments against cursing is that in many communities misfortune rarely effects only one person, but instead spreads across the entire group through the local economy. A wise magician works magick for personal success and also for the success of others close to him or her. Such magical work is good for the magician and good for the community.

Hopefully Orombi's remarks either stem from ignorance or Christian propoganda and don't reflect the real situation in Uganda, but if they do I have better advice for these magicians than to cultivate "trust in God" - just quit being stupid and start using your powers for constructive ends!

Fire and Brimstone in California

Well, fire at least. In the wake of wildfires striking California, Christian evangelist James Hartline offered his explanation for the disaster to anyone who would listen. God was smiting California because of gay activism in the wake of Proposition 8's passage.

This brings up a number of questions. First of all, if homosexuality is really the biggest issue in God's mind, and God and Jesus are the same, why is it that Jesus said absolutely nothing about gays during his ministry? Doesn't the complete lack of any comment suggest that maybe Jesus just didn't care about this issue that much? He did instruct his followers to "keep the commandments," which likely refers to the Jewish laws set forth in Leviticus that refer to homosexuality as "abomination" - but the same term is also applied to the eating of shellfish. A lot of Christians eat shrimp and their churches are silent on that issue.

Second of all, Proposition 8 was a ban on gay marriage. It passed. So shouldn't God be happy if he indeed considers gays to be the root of all evil? Couldn't he find something more important to be angry over besides a bunch of protests that aren't going to change the law? I mean, it seems like the smart thing for God to do if he supported the ban would be to shower California with all sorts of good fortune after it passed. In fact, couldn't you argue that God is angry over the passage of the ban because he's in favor of committed relationships, both gay and straight, or because he's opposed to writing discrimination into the state's constitution?

Finally, if Hartline indeed is a prophet of God as he claims, we can be absolutely certain of one key detail: this guy is God. God taking on the form of a homeless person is a pretty shrewd move, especially for highlighting poverty and other social justice issues that Jesus clearly cared about so much more than gays during his lifetime.

Political Magick in Thailand

With all the coverage of the US Presidential election, the ongoing political crisis in Thailand has attracted little attention. Briefly, in 2006 a group calling themselves the People's Alliance for Democracy led a military coup against the government of former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, alleging corruption on the part of the Prime Minister and his ruling party. With a new government in place, the coup leaders stepped down and declared their goals accomplished. However, Thaksin's allies came back to win a majority in the 2007 general election, prompting the current incarnation of the crisis. From wikipedia:

The PAD re-established itself after Thaksin-affiliated parties, led by Samak Sundaravej's People's Power Party (PPP), got the majority in the 2007 general election and decided to ratify the Constitution after one of its leading figure was charged with electoral fraud. According to the Constitution, this violation could lead to the dissolution of the party. PAD also believe that the real cause of the attempt to ratify the Constitution is to rescue the ousted Thaksin Shinawatra back to power. In May 2008, PAD began its street protest at Makhawan Bridge, on Ratchadamnoen Avenue. The main objectives of the renewing protest are the resistance of the constitutional amendment and the rejection of the PPP as the ruling party.

PAD began formal protests in May of this year, and during August and September seized the government house in an effort to force the current government to resign. The Thai seat of government is still occupied and the crisis shows no signs of letting up any time soon - especially since dark magick is apparently involved.

Sondhi Limthongkul, one of the leaders of the group which is illegally occupying the seat of Thai government, claimed in a recent televised speech that a wicked wizard has blocked the protective power of some of Bangkok's holiest sites.

It seems to me that this is a pretty inefficient way to go about creating political change using magick. I mean, why not just do a spell to restore the former prime minister to power? As an reasonably accomplished political magician, I can tell you that just specifying your final outcome without any intermediate means works fine. But I digress - naturally, once the spell was discovered Sondhi's supporters moved quickly to counter it.

He described how his own magicians removed six imaginary nails that had been placed around a towering royal statue in the city centre to block its power.

"I must thank the women of the PAD," he continued, "because after [the imaginary nails] were pulled out, to ensure they could not be replaced, they took sanitary napkins from menstruating women and placed them over the six points.

"Experts said the (evil wizards) were furious because they could not send their spirits back," Mr Sondhi boasted, "Their magic was rendered ineffective!"

In Thai superstition women's sexuality, and especially menstrual blood, is believed to have great destructive power.

Some thoughts - first off, why imaginary nails? You could use metal talismans, enchant them all together so that they are linked, and set them around the area of the statue at various distances forming a field. They would thus be difficult to find, especially if deeply buried or well-hidden. Imaginary nails used as talismans are kind of silly, since from a technical perspective you would be better off drawing a bunch of sigils over a polaroid photo of your target.

Secondly, blood and especially menstrual blood is very magically energetic, but that energy can be turned to many different purposes - it is not necessarily inherently destructive. If Sodhi's magicians don't realize this, the "remedy" could easily be reversed by a skilled rival. It would be especially diabolical because once the energy shifts, the blood itself would become the new anchor for the blocking spell and the only way to break it at that point would be to undo the remedy itself - and doing so would probably look very bad politically after Sondhi made such a big deal of it in his speech.

Appeal Filed in "God Lawsuit"

No, the lawsuit filed by former Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers against God is still not dead, even after being dismissed with prejudice by a judge. Chambers has filed an appeal protesting the dimissal. The appeal will take the case to the Nebraska Supreme Court, who hopefully will refuse to hear it on the grounds that it's just plain silly.

I think Chambers needs to find himself a hobby, or more to the point find himself a different one.

When Monks Attack

Why is it that the religions that disagree the most are so often those with trivial differences in theology? You never hear about Christians and Thelemites getting into brawls, for example, or Wiccans fighting Buddhists. Comedian Emo Philips had a routine on this very subject that he used to do back in the late 1980's, and I still find it funny - but it's funny in part because it's so sadly true.

The latest chapter in this saga finds a battle between Armenian and Greek Orthodox monks at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, one of Christianity's holiest sites.

The feud revolves around a demand by the Greek Orthodox to post a monk inside the Edicule - the ancient structure built on what is believed to be the tomb of Jesus - during the Armenian procession. The Armenians refused, and when they tried to march the Greek Orthodox monks blocked their way.

I realize that this likely has great spiritual significance to both sides, but from the outside looking in it seems like a pretty silly thing to fight over. Nonetheless, neither side was willing to budge.

It ended with the arrival of dozens of riot policemen who separated the sides, seizing a bearded Armenian monk in a red-and-pink robe and a black-clad Greek Orthodox monk with a bloody gash on his forehead.

Both men were taken away in handcuffs.

I guess it's a good thing for all involved that Western monks aren't trained in Shaolin Kung Fu.

Fascist Candidate's Dark Magick

I have been deliberately avoiding blogging about the imminent US presidential election, but this is just too funny. Did you even know that the United States has a Fascist Party? I didn't. Their presidential candidate is a dark sorceror by the name of Jackson Grimes.

Grimes is a Sunshine State-born Vietnam War veteran with an artificial British accent who failed at acting, spent a year on the New York City streets and now aspires to the Oval Office under the auspices of the United Fascist Union.

...

He was offered the party leadership and has spent much of the past decade traveling and making speeches to raise money. His supporters can be unlikely – he’s spoken before the Flying Saucer Society and recently had engagements in Canada – but he sincerely believes in his efforts.

Maybe it's just me, but I've always found that a fake foreign accent totally screams "LOSER!" On the other hand, I have no problem with Grimes speaking to UFO enthusiasts. I mean, I'd do that. UFO hysteria is fun, whether or not it's factually true.

But wait a minute. I said sorceror, right? Where on earth would I get the idea that this guy is a powerful dark magician? Why, from his secretary and partner Heather Goldsmith!

Goldsmith connected with the party’s pagan affinity and gravitated toward Grimes. “The Pentagram flag by his desk by the bust of Saddam Hussein was also an occult symbol, so I thought this guy can teach me a lot about magick and witchcraft if I can get in with him,” Goldsmith wrote in an e-mail. “Learning he had no wife, a couple of days later I went back and asked him if he’d like one and moved in with him a couple days later.”

Clearly any practicing magician recognizes that combining the occult symbol most widely recognized by complete ignoramuses with the bust of a secular dictator who pulled a bunch of stupid crap and got the entire world pissed off at him is a sign of incredible unholy power. Oh, wait...

And isn't success supposed to be thy proof? Just saying. So far Grimes has lost three elections in a row by a lot, and yet he still clings to the idea that he could actually win.

“I’m in this to win,” the Florida native said with distinctly British enunciation. “If I didn’t think I could become the president of the United States by being a fascist, I wouldn’t be a fascist.”

But hey, at least Grimes' magical weirdness got him laid, even if it won't make him President.