Thursday, June 4, 2009

Jonathon the Impaler Pleads Guilty

The saga of Jonathon the Impaler continued yesterday with a guilty plea in the harrassment case against him filed by a Rochester girl who corresponded with him online.

Two days before his trial was to begin, a man who calls himself a vampire and once ran for Minnesota governor has admitted to harassing a Rochester teen by e-mail.

Forty-five-year-old Jonathon Sharkey pleaded guilty Monday to two counts of gross-misdemeanor harassment in Olmsted County.

I guess the case against him must have been pretty solid. Usually sending somebody e-mails isn't exactly actionable, so for him to accept a plea bargain like this the e-mails must have been pretty bad.

Sharkey and the girl dated online, but she tried to end it within two weeks. She told police he sent threatening messages.

Sharkey said in court that his threats were in response to threats to him.

As I mentioned in the previous story on the case, the "threats" the girl issued involved claims that she was a member of an elite vampire hunting unit and that Sharkey's relationship with her put him in danger. That is, her threats essentially amounted to "but I'm Buffy the Vampire Slayer!" If Sharkey indeed took that seriously, well, I think commenter Robert-Joseph said it best in response to the previous article.

IMO his presidential bid wasn't hurt so much by his Satanic beliefs or claims of being a vampire, but rather by the fact that the man has an IQ slightly beneath that of a mentally retarded monkey. I read his stuff. He's a dumb ass.

I mean, let's say that I want somebody to leave me alone and say "Back off, man! I'm a supervillain with special powers who could really mess you up!" A reasonable person would almost certainly conclude that only a true idiot would take me seriously and try to retailiate on the grounds that he was "threatened."

In addition, Sharkey's legal troubles aren't over.

His sentence of 180 days in jail is considered satisfied. But he'll stay in custody pending extradition to Indiana to face two felony charges.

For those of you who feel that giving any attention to this nutjob is somehow problematic, you're welcome to sign the petition to "End His Reign of Terror" and refrain from commenting further. As far as I'm concerned, though, the statements of stupid people should be publicized far and wide so that no mistake can ever be made regarding their intellectual capacity.

Finally, I'll reiterate what I said in the comments on the previous article - for those people who never want to see another President Bush in the White House, keep in mind that this guy claimed to be friends with Jeb. Never let the mainstream media forget it. Doesn't "Jeb Bush pals around with vampires" have a nice ring to it?

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