Monday, March 26, 2012

Satan Attacks Zimbabwe School

Earlier this month children attending a primary school in Mufakose, Zimbabwe, were attacked by the Devil. At least, that's what many parents believe. Now, I would point out that if Satan really exists and is the most powerful being in the universe next to God himself it makes little sense for him to bother messing with a few schoolchildren rather than, say, plotting world domination. However, even when this logic is explained to them, devout believers in the Devil still fail to get it. It seems they would rather believe that somehow, the great cosmic battle between God and his arch-nemesis is all about them and their children. This is not just in places like Africa, either - similar idiocy guided the Satanic Ritual Abuse scare here in America thirty years ago.

Parents and guardians feared their children may also be affected.Some of the affected pupils were reportedly bleeding through their noses.One pupil has since been suspended to allow him to recover from the trauma.

Since last Thursday, over 30 pupils have reportedly been affected by the hysteria, blamed on suspected Satanic practices. The strange occurrences were affecting mostly Grade One and Two pupils who are said to have turned violent and exhibited extraordinary strength while speaking in unusual voices and tongues.

The pupils, it is alleged, were being taken in the afternoons by an unidentified lady in a "tinted private vehicle". When The Herald visited the school yesterday morning, hundreds of parents were calling for the closure of the school.

So I guess the Devil is supposed to have taken the form of this mysterious woman? That suggests somebody's watched the 2000 film Bedazzled too many times. Elizabeth Hurley's Devil is exactly the sort who I would imaging driving around in a "tinted private vehicle." Seriously, though, the article does bring up the issue of "hysteria," which is among skeptics' favorite explanations for events that are hard to explain. Even though the idea that the Devil attacked this school is ridiculous, labeling these events as "hysteria" when there's some evidence of real physical effects also makes little sense. Outside the psychological realm, explaining a phenomenon as "hysteria" is the skeptic's way of saying "a wizard did it."

In fact, maybe a wizard did. I can imagine how I would put together a curse to do something like this and then anchor it in a specific area - in this case, the school. I would never target a bunch of schoolchildren, but not every magical practitioner shares my ethics. For that matter, maybe its a kid with some magical talent cursing his or her schoolmates - that seems at least plausible given my own experiences in elementary school.

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