Thursday, August 9, 2012

Don't Mess With Morgan's Secret Chiefs

Awhile back fellow magick blogger Morgan Drake Eckstein revealed a sinister secret to the Golden Dawn world - the Secret Chiefs of his magical order are in fact cats. Their influence can be felt everywhere, as they are now the most popular pets in the United States and one of the most common subjects of Internet memes, such as LOLcats. One might imagine their cute, playful, furry presence to be innocuous, but don't be fooled. These feline Secret Chiefs are ruthless murderers, as exposed by National Geographic's Crittercam project.

In a study of 60 cats fitted with cameras for seven to 10 days, a University of Georgia research team has found nearly 30 percent of them killed prey, ending the lives of two animals per week on average. Their prey? Unlucky lizards, snakes, and frogs accounted for 41 percent—but the cats ate only 30 percent of what they killed.

With the help of National Geographic Society's Crittercam project, the study also found the felines to be pretty adventurous, nearly half crossing roadways and a quarter eating and drinking things they found.

With 74 million cats in America, the potential amount of cat carnage is much higher than was earlier thought, according to the research.

One need only look into the cunning eyes of a cat to understand its capacity for evil. One of these diabolical Secret Chiefs has even taken up residence in my home, which means that nowhere is safe. Our only hope is to placate these creatures with offerings of fish, bits of string, and scritches and pray that their murderous intentions remain fixed on mice and other vermin - instead of us!

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2 comments:

Mister Li Liu said...

This explains why my cat drinks from the glass of water I have at my bedside to catch nasty spirits - he's recharging his battery of Evil!

Scott Stenwick said...

They can recharge those batteries on almost anything including drips from the sink, the juice from canned tuna, and the old standby, saucers of milk. Thus, we must be ever vigilant.