Creationists Lose It, Big Time

Young Earth creationists are just about the easiest target for mockery on the planet. The idea that the universe was created just as it is now sometime within the last 10,000 years is completely contradictory to a stack of scientific evidence that grows higher every year. However, according to surveys a substantial percentage of Americans do in fact believe it to be true. Many of these folks are the same Christians who whine about being an oppressed minority, even though they belong to the largest religion in the United States by far. Their particular complaints generally relate to their conviction that the very existence of contradictory ideas threatens their own apparently unbelievably fragile faith.

Contradictory ideas can be found anywhere - you know, because not everyone in the world agrees with creationism. These dire threats can come from other religions, scientific theories, and even tongue-in-cheek advertisements. Like this one. Soda maker Dr. Pepper recently ran the ad shown above, which satirizes the concept of evolution as being catalyzed by their product. This, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with how evolution works in the real world. But the mere mention of the word was enough - creationists online completely lost it and commenced an even more epic version of their usual whining.

Ever since, on the JESUS IS NOT A PEPPER side, commenters have been weighing in to register their fury, declaring “this photo is in very poor taste and certainly not something I want to identify with!!!” and “I didn’t come from no ape the great creator made me GOD!!!!!!!” Because God loves exclamation points like he despises abiogenesis. And several people have declared “No more DP for me” because of the apparent anti-world-in-seven-days stance. “Let me believe in a God that created me,” writes one poster. “I’ll let you believe that you came from a rock.” Reminder: We’re talking about an ad in which a caveman discovers Dr. Pepper.

The controversy has also spawned some hilarious responses in the atheism subreddit, from Peppers who know that “EVERYTHING AROUND YOU IS EVIDENCE OF DR PEPPER OPEN YOUR EYES” and ask “Do you think all 23 delicious flavors can come together like that by chance?” It’s all very entertaining — if you don’t think too hard about the fact that it’s 2012 and we’re still arguing about evolution in this country. And how it pertains to soft drinks.

In fact, I should point out that the Dr. Pepper advertisement in no way contradicts creationism's close cousin, intelligent design. After all, somebody had to have put the soda there in the first place for the caveman to find, right? I think we can all agree that it must have been God.