Thursday, June 16, 2016

BREAKING: Zuckerberg Not a Lizard

That's totally not him on the right there

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has finally addressed the question that everyone is asking. By "everyone," of course, I mean conspiracy theorists and fans of David Icke and Infowars. In a recent Facebook Q&A, Zuckerberg flat-out denied that he is secretly a giant alien lizard dressed in a Mark Zuckerberg costume.

There have long been conspiracy theorists who believe that the world’s most powerful people are actually lizards disguised in giant human-shaped costumes.

David Icke, the British conspiracy theorist, is perhaps the most famous person who contends that almost all powerful people are actually shape-shifting reptilian humanoids. But Zuckerberg insists that he isn’t one of them.

“Mark, are the allegations true that you’re secretly a lizard? Um... I’m gonna, I’m gonna have to go with ‘no’ on that. I am not a lizard,” Zuckerberg said seeming oddly nervous.

“But keep the high quality comments coming in please, this is surely on track to be a great Live Q&A if we continue getting stuff at that level of quality,” Zuckerberg continued sarcastically.

The weirdest part is that the questions seemed to be pre-screened, at least in part. It almost seems like Zuck wanted to address the issue.

But see, that's exactly what a secret lizard person would do, right? Deliberately address the question and issue a pointed denial! So I suppose that matter has not been put to rest after all. At least, that's what I imagine "everyone" will be saying now.

Seriously, though, this idea that members of the global elite are lizards or occultists or space aliens or whatever is just plain silly. It's as if conspiracy theorists can't fathom the idea that they could be regular people just like everybody else. Which, by the way, they are - it's just that having unlimited resources gives them a very different perspective on the world than the one the rest of us share.

Technorati Digg This Stumble Stumble

No comments: