Illumi-NOT

If this is the best the Illuminati have to offer, let's just say they might want to rethink that whole world domination thing. San Diego man Titus Colbert Jr. has appeared in court on multiple occasions on charges of attempting to murder police officers last November. Instead of mounting a legal defense, though, Colbert started shouting about being a member of the Illuminati on his first appearance. Then, during a subsequent appearance, he started singing about it.

The first time Titus Colbert Jr. appeared in a San Diego courtroom after his November arrest he started shouting. “May 1, 1776!” he said — a reference to the founding day of an Enlightenment-era secret society, the Illuminati. He then made references to “a new world order” and Benjamin Franklin.

Colbert, who is accused of toting a handgun and a couple of rifles to a Bankers Hill condo complex, then shooting at police after they were called to the scene, was kicked out of the courtroom after he ignored warnings to keep quiet.

When Colbert returned to court the following week, he again refused to be silent. This time, he sang. “We are the Illuminati, we stand for a new world order!” he repeated in a loud baritone. Again, he was he removed from the room.

All of this made for some interesting moments in the earliest days of Colbert’s case in San Diego Superior Court. He faces a string of felony charges, including four counts of attempted murder on a peace officer, stemming from the Nov. 4 incident. No one was injured.

While I'm happy that no one was injured, from an evil Illuminati standpoint the case is a complete disaster. Not only is this guy an idiot, he's a total failure. Presumably he was supposed to murder those officers to somehow further the mysterious plans that the secret, not-at-all-secret, Illuminati society is attempting to set in motion. Those plans were clearly thwarted by Colbert's arrest, probably largely because he's such a dim bulb.

You know, the sort of bulb that's not illuminated at all.