Saturday, December 23, 2017

Back on the Market!

How did I manage to miss this? Back in October, the ridiculously over-the-top Poseidon's Fortress was put back on the market!

What's really, really funny is how much effort the realtor put into making the place seem "normal-luxurious" instead of "batshit insane." Compare the well-crafted listing to the video from 2014 that I included with my previous article. I'm not surprised at all that the video failed to sell the house. There just are not that many devotees of Poseidon left in the world, let alone rich ones, and it would take some serious faith in the Lord of the Seas to find this place even remotely tasteful.

Bear in mind that the realtor has done a great job here. Most of the photos of the interior are taken during the day and are angled such that they de-emphasize many of the interior elements and bizarre design choices made by the builder. Go ahead and scroll through the photos. For example, there's only one image of the living room that shows the laser lighting, and none showing the built-in smoke machines (!) in operation.

The "rooms that take you to other parts of the world" are similarly rendered, in as normal a manner as possible. There's no photo of the "cave bathroom," because that's just nuts. The replica Aztec temple in the workout room is likewise blended into the background. And I'm not sure what they did with the color for the exterior shots, but man, the photo that I included above looks just great. You don't really notice that basically, this is an ordinary McMansion from some decades ago with a bunch of fish crap shoehorned onto it.

In my original post I suggested that the place was built in the 1970's, but it actually was constructed in 1958, according to the official property records. So it was perhaps cutting-edge at the time, foreshadowing what would become the dominant building style ten years later. Still, the overall design is pretty dated now, and all the weird decoration or concert lighting or smoke in the world won't change that.

There's also the issue that the house is on the market for almost $900,000 when the property tax assessment says it's worth about $300,000. That's a pretty big differential, and I suspect the reason that it didn't sell before is that the appraisal didn't justify a mortgage that high. Homes often do sell for above their assessed values, but very rarely for three times as much.

Still, if you're a stupid-rich devotee of Poseidon, this might be the place for you. It truly is a unique property, and I imagine that a skilled magician could put many of the weird interior features to good use. You know, if you happen to have that much money lying around.

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