Skulls, Bones, Masons, and Meth

Occult crime is one of those things that in real life is pretty underwhelming. Once the Satanic Ritual Abuse scare was debunked in the early 1990's by the FBI, law enforcement officials were forced to admit that very few crimes involved occultism of any sort. But this story from New Zealand at least touches on a few elements that might very well have freaked out American investigators thirty years ago. Today it's mostly just funny.

A Nelson man who stole a human skull and bones from a Masonic lodge said he would return the stolen goods in exchange for meth. Cayden John Minto, 27, pleaded guilty to a charge of burglary and another of blackmail when he appeared in the Nelson District Court on Thursday.

A police summary facts said overnight on December 1, Minto broke into the Southern Star Lodge on Collingwood St. He forced a fire door open, found a key on top of a locked cupboard and used it to access a ceremonial area of the building known as the temple. Once inside, he took a human skull, assorted human bones, cutlery and books, as well as ceremonial knives, robes and marbles. he value of the items was estimated to be between $1000 and $1500.

Almost two weeks later, Minto made contact with a member of a fellow Freemasons Lodge in Nelson via Facebook. He sent messages over several days, claiming he was acting on behalf of someone who had the stolen goods, but was willing to negotiate their safe return. "Tell them be as fast as possible as the person with it will destroy it and dispose of it if he doesn't get 7 gram," one message read.

The demand was passed on to a member of the Southern Star Lodge. It was believed the person was requesting $7000 for the safe return of the items. Police later located the stolen items at Minto's former partner's house in Stoke and they were returned to the lodge. He said that "7 gram" was a reference to seven grams of methamphetamine.

I have to admit, these leaves me wondering if Minto might be a graduate of the "Become a Living God" program run by the online occult scene's resident meth-head slash carpet installer. But that probably isn't even a connection to this crime. My guess is that the security at the Masonic lodge wasn't that good - Masonic buildings tend to be old, after all - and Minto just broke in, stole what he could, and then got in touch with somebody at the lodge from whom he could (incompetently) demand drugs.

Let me tell you, if the Masons really did run the world this sort of thing would never fly. Minto would have been subjected to a dark and secret ritual that would have dragged his soul down to the depths of hell - you know, instead of just being reported to the police like any old thief and arrested.