Where in the World is Satan?

Gabriele Amorth is at it again. A few weeks back the Vatican's chief exorcist declared that Satan was living in the Vatican. Now he's claiming that the archfiend has found a new home - at the New York Times! Amorth sees the influence of the devil in the newspaper's coverage of the latest sexual abuse scandals surrounding the Roman Catholic Church.

Father Gabriele Amorth specifically singled out the New York Times—which has reported on one such scandal in Milwaukee where then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, appeared to permit a priest with a long history of abuse accusations to retain his office—as pursuing an agenda "prompted by the Devil."

"There is no doubt about it," Amorth told CNA. "Because he is a marvelous Pope and worthy successor to John Paul II, it is clear that the devil wants to 'grab hold' of him." He went on to explain that "the devil wants the death of the Church because she is the mother of all the saints."

Perhaps Amorth drove Satan out of the Vatican using his exorcist powers and regrets where the devil has taken up residence, seeing as now that Satan has left Rome he's out there generating lots of bad press. Naturally the New York Times stands by their reporting and is denying any Satanic involvement - but of course that's what the devil would say.

As defenders of the Church continue to castigate the Times and other media outlets for their coverage, the American paper of record is standing pat. A spokeswoman for the Times told Politico's Michael Calderone that its "stories were based on meticulous reporting and documents," adding, "We stand by that reporting."

So where will Satan turn up next? I suppose we'll have to wait for Amorth's next pronouncement to find out. In the meantime, keep an eye out for fire, brimstone, pitchforks, horns, and of course anyone who dares to criticize the Pope.