The Ancient and Illuminated Seers of Nigeria

I suppose it was inevitable. Scammers from Nigeria have discovered the many ridiculous online ramblings about the "evil Illuminati" and are now spamming accordingly. Recently this message has been showing up all over the Internet, on just about any page that matches the "Illuminati" keyword, including some of my posts here on Augoeides.

Join illuminati - Freemason online today, to meet your demand and acquire wealth, power, protection, influence and a better paying job etc. Also get instant sum of $500,000.00 dollars with a free home anywhere you choose to live in the world $2,500.00 dollars monthly as a salary and other benefit attached. if you are interested contact us now via email: [redacted]@gmail.com or call +234[redacted] for assistance.

The redactions are mine. I'm not going to give these folks extra publicity by including their contact information on the front page of my blog. If you're really interested it's not hard to find by clicking on the following links, but let me stress that I highly recommend you avoid calling or e-mailing them. I did leave the +234 country code from the phone number to identify the country of origin as Nigeria, home of the notorious advance fee scam.


So who are these people really? Could it be that a lodge of the notorious secret order fled to Africa around 1800 and has been hiding out in Nigeria ever since, like the story of the Ark of the Covenant hidden in Ethiopia? Or is this just another in a long string of Nigerian princes looking for help moving his ill-gotten millions? A simple Google search on the phone number turned up a bunch of testimonials like this one:

Hello every one am Calisto,i like to share my testimony to the public about a great man call (Dr.akugbe) who help me out in serious illness, I was having HIV/Aids for good 5years and i was almost going to the end of my life due to the way my skin look like all i have in my mind is let me just give up because life was know more interesting to me any longer but I just pray to God every day to accept my soul when ever I'm gone, so lucky to me my kids sister ran to me one faith morning that she found a doctor in the internet who can cure HIV/AID she help me out on everything the man ask for expectiatly my details and photo, so he cast a spell on me from his temple after following his directions 5mins later I started getting more stronger and my blood start flow normally just 4 to 5 days I started regaining lost Wight before a month my body start developing my skin start coming up after 2month I went for HIV test and I was tested negative i’m so happy that I can say I'm not a HIV patient if you have HIV/AID or any decease in your body please contact him for cure now [different email redacted]@gmail.com or call +234[same number redacted] for assistance.

So it sounds like one of two things is true. Either "Dr. Akugbe" is the real head of the Illuminati, or this is just another scam cooked up to string marks along with promises of Illuminati wealth. And I'm betting on the latter. I expect anyone who contacts the number will be asked to pay some sort of initiation fee, and if they do send the money they'll never hear from these clowns again.

Fake Illuminati, indeed.