Fake Illuminati and the Ice Bucket Challenge

I suppose it was inevitable that Illuminati hysteria would strike the latest viral craze, the ice bucket challenge. YouTube videos are now claiming that rather than a publicity stunt to draw attention to the crippling disease ALS, the whole thing is a ploy by the Illuminati to prepare the world for mass human sacrifice. Or at least I think that's what the videos are going on about. Here's what the poster had to say:

“What if I told you that the good gesture sweeping across America called the “Ice Bucket Challenge” is actually a large ‘Ritual Purification Cleansing’ preparing for the Largest Human Sacrifice in History to usher in the Beast System?

What if I told you the latest Fire and Ice Challenges are tied to the Illuminati and New World Order’s bold Agenda of the rise of the Fourth Beast System, the Reign of the Anti-Christ?

What if I told you that depending on how you decided to “cleanse” whether having water dumped on your head or being the dumpee represented turning someone else in or giving yourself up come that time?

What if I told you the Ice Challenge was a hidden Illuminati code inviting ISIS to Ice Us?

What if I told you Obama sitting in the “Iron Throne” back in May in a “photo-shopped” White House tweet was in fact God showing us the hour we are living in according to the book of Daniel and Revelation?"

Frankly, I'd call you an idiot. Because if that load of conspiracy-mongering crap is not some sort of joke, I fear for both your critical thinking skills and your mental stability. It's classic paranoid reasoning that imparts earth-shaking meaning to random coincidences. It's like whoever wrote this picked up a newspaper and saw "ice bucket challenge," "ISIS," and "Obama" on the front page and came up with a creative essay that combined them.

Even if we assume that everything people believe about the (fake) Illuminati is true - that they're masters of mind control and so forth - why would they want to "sacrifice" their minions? Don't they want mind-controlled soldiers for the New World Order? The dodge of "but they're occultists!" doesn't fly here. Dumping a bucket of ice water on your head without any spiritual intent has no magical significance, for sacrifice or otherwise.

The more I write, the more I'm convinced that this is just a parody. At least I hope it is, because even I have a hard time believing that real people could be this dumb.