Saturday, December 6, 2014

Move Over, Birdemic!

Does everyone remember the abjectly terrible trailer for Birdemic? It came out in 2010, and is acknowledged by many insiders to be among the worst modern films ever. From the stilted acting to the over-the-top "bird attack" CGI that looks like the video version of 4Chan photoshopping, everybody who saw it knew that its awfulness would be hard to beat. And until recently, it was at the very bottom of IMDB's Bottom 100.

But that was before Kirk Cameron's latest came along. The evangelical actor's new film, Saving Christmas, has now dethroned Birdemic as the worst-rated movie in IMDB's history. Here's the film's summary from Rotten Tomatoes, where it holds an impressive 0%:

With "Merry Christmas" being replaced by "Seasons Greetings" and court ordered removal of public nativity scenes, the fruit of Mary's womb is falling on hard times. But this year, Kirk Cameron is taking back Christmas with his engaging new movie KIRK CAMERON'S SAVING CHRISTMAS.

So here we have the Poor Oppressed Christian worldview taken to its ridiculous logical conclusion. Apparently, Cameron is playing an action hero dedicated to stomping out the heinous evils of inclusive holiday greetings. Now there's a gripping conflict that will keep us on the edge of our seats - NOT! No wonder so many people think it's bad.

The lowest rating anyone can give a movie, in case you’re wondering, is 1. Which means if 0 stars were an option, the score would probably be even lower.

Need a basis for comparison? From Justin to Kelly is #23 on the Bottom 100 list. Cameron’s movie is worse than From Justin to Kelly. From Justin to Kelly!

Give it a few hours and I’m sure Cameron will complain about how he’s the victim of Christian Persecution. When he does, someone please remind him that God’s Not Dead has an average IMDb rating of 5 stars. Nowhere near the bottom of the barrel.

See, while much of the framing of God's Not Dead is kind of silly and unrealistic, it at least is based on a premise that's potentially kind of interesting - a Christian philosophy student debating his atheist professor on the existence of God. Cameron's movie, though, is about something that I'm pretty sure hardly anybody cares about very much.

While many Poor Oppressed Christians will bring up this topic as an example, even they realize that making a big deal about it just makes them sound dumb. It's pretty clear to most people that expecting members of minority religions to use exclusively Christian greetings is unfair, and only the most foolish Christian would ever argue that hearing "Seasons Greetings" harms them in any meaningful way.

It hasn't even harmed Kirk Cameron, just the reviews of his movie.

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