Actually, It's Totally Frivolous

I honestly am still surprised that I get people asking me from time to time about "The Illuminati." If you haven't already figured it out, there's no such thing. The Illuminati order was founded as a competitor for Masonry in 1776, was basically dead by 1800, and its last gasp was an attempted revival in the late 1800's by Theodor Reuss, who would go on to found Ordo Templi Orientis with Karl Kellner. But Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea wrote some novels in the 1970's, so it has to be real, right?

As I've covered here on Augoeides, the Illuminati order has been mocked by Weird Al Yankovic, turned into an advance fee scam by Nigerian confidence artists, and treated as a big joke by the music industry. Most recently, it was turned into Taco Bell commercial. Come on folks, if there really was a sinister, powerful Illuminati order secretly running the world, none of that would ever have seen the light of day. But that's not what musician Charlie Daniels wants you to think. In response to the aforementioned Taco Bell commercial, he issued a warning to the fast food franchise.

“The Devil Went Down to Georgia” musician and noted conservative Daniels took some time out of his evening on Monday to issue a grave warning to the fast-food chain. “Hey Taco Bell The Illuminati is not a frivolous subject,” Daniels cautioned. While Daniels failed to elaborate on his warning — perhaps out of concern for saying too much — the musician was presumably referring to Taco Bell’s recent “Belluminati” campaign, which employs conspiracy-themed language and imagery to reveal the “powerful connection between the dollar and Taco Bell” — namely, a line of menu items available for $1 each.

Taco Bell has not yet responded to TheWrap’s request for comment on Daniels’ words of caution — possibly because they’re awaiting guidance on a response from the Lizard People who control the Pentagon — but Daniels’ doom-signal to the brand drew its own responses on social media.

“Charlie how do you know Taco Bell isn’t a part of the Illuminati, making commercials mocking it to throw you off from the fact that they are a part of it? Explain THAT to me,” asked one observer. “Wait until you see the Bilderberg ad from Arby’s,” another commenter warned the musician. “And the Bohemian Grove ad from Hardee’s,” chimed in another. “Deals with the devil are not a frivolous subject,” cautioned another commenter, referencing Daniels’ trademark song.

In fact, "deals with the Devil" are pretty frivolous too, since they're the sort of things that happen in horror movies but not in real life. While you can make deals with various chthonic entities, there's no point in "selling your soul" because you can't really do that. Usually, spirits just want regular offerings or something similar as part of the deal. Also, there isn't one singular "Devil" who is essentially the god of all things evil. That's just a nonsensical piece of Manichean theology that worked its way into Christianity. There are many chthonic entities out there, and they aren't all "evil demons."

But I digress. It's not that there aren't conspiracies out there, but I'm in agreement with Alan Moore's contention that they all are run by "ham-fisted clowns." There certainly is a caste of wealthy folks out there who network with each other and have disproportionate influence over world events, but for the most part they are not occultists and don't do anything like conduct evil rituals, sacrifice babies, or whatever. It's true that some of them wind up doing a lot of harm, but usually it's totally banal - they just are looking to maximize their profits without any concern for other people.