Friday, July 13, 2018

Fetus Blood on the Rocks

Just in time for Friday the 13th, Wonkette is reporting that webcaster Dave Daubenmire is on to us. Or, at least, he thinks he is. According to a recent webcast, the religious activist claimed that the reason liberals are opposed to putting Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court and support legal abortion is because liberals get high by drinking the blood of fetuses.

No, really! This is apparently not a joke!

Hey fellow liberals. I hate to break it to all of you, but the jig is up. Dave "Coach" Daubenmire has got us figured out, and he knows that the whole reason we support abortion is because of how much we love drinking fetus blood in order to get high on "adrenochrome."

On his show this week, the one where he sits in front of a weird green screen of a football field and makes up weird shit, he asked his "audience" why the Left was so upset about the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh and the fact that it means we will be losing our reproductive rights by next year or so.

"Why are they so upset about abortion? Why are they so interested about death? Why do they want so much, the most important right they are ever going to have is the right for a woman to be able murder her unborn baby?"

Being far too clever, clearly, to even consider the fact that maybe people just don't want to be forced to give birth against their will, the "Coach" then brought in his buddy Vinnie to talk all about our thirst for fetus blood. "These people are Satanists," Vinnie explains. "What they do is they sacrifice children and they use the children's blood for their drug adrenochrome."

I sometimes wonder if I should just do my own YouTube channel and put up the most outrageous lies I can imagine on it. Then I would see if anyone takes the bait. According to my religious webcast, when Aleister Crowley became the Ipsissimus he was promoted to the One True God of the universe. He never died in 1947 - that was all a ruse! After all, how else could he have run for president in 2012?

Yeah, I know, the website there says he's dead and British. But the Ipsissimus transcends all limitations, man! Christians are the ones sacrificing babies by the millions - in secret, of course - because they believe that it will stave off the full flowering of the Aeon of the Child. Vain hope! We will expose them all so that...

Oh hell, I just can't do it. This is all too stupid for words. Instead, I'm going to try to tease out everything that's wrong with Daubenmire's whacko theory.

Doing that is going take me some time, because the whole concept is really, really wrong on so many levels. I would be falling out of my chair laughing if there weren't people out there who really watch this show and presumably believe this crap. It's basically "blood libel" for the current century, but targeting "the Left" instead of Jews.

First, here's what adenochrome actually does if you take it as a drug:

Several small-scale studies (involving 15 or fewer test subjects) conducted in the 1950s and 1960s reported that adrenochrome triggered psychotic reactions such as thought disorder, derealization, and euphoria.[2] Researchers Abram Hoffer and Humphry Osmond claimed that adrenochrome is a neurotoxic, psychotomimetic substance and may play a role in schizophrenia and other mental illnesses.[3] In what they called the "adrenochrome hypothesis",[4] they speculated that megadoses of vitamin C and niacin could cure schizophrenia by reducing brain adrenochrome.[5][6] However, these hypotheses have never been scientifically accepted; adrenochrome is not currently believed to have any psychedelic properties.[7]

Granted, that's from Wikipedia, but all of those bracketed numbers in the text are references that you can check if you go to the link. The "euphoria" there may sound like a good thing, but thought disorder and derealization sound like some pretty nasty side effects. And that's if any of this is true. It is not currently scientifically accepted that adenochrome has any psychedelic properties. The studies from the 1950's and 1960's imply that you should be able to treat schizophrenia with megadosed vitamins, and we know that's just not true.

Second, even if it did, it would be a lot easier to just manufacture it from, say, racemic epinephrine. It is not difficult to synthesize the oxide of a classical neurotransmitter. The process of synthesizing methamphetamine from pseudoephedrine, for example, is much more difficult. And you can just buy racemic epinephrine on Amazon, as many asthma sufferers could tell you. Epinephrine is just another name for adrenaline. You can buy it without a prescription, an ID, or anything.

Third, fifty percent of Americans no identify as pro-choice - that is, those "leftists" who are upset at the notion of Roe v. Wade being overturned. Meanwhile, if you take a look at the graph that shows religions of the United States from my Poor Oppressed Christian Test article, Satanism falls somewhere within that tiny little section labeled "other faiths." So the idea that everyone who is pro-choice is "a Satanist" is fundamentally ridiculous. As I keep saying, if you don't understand statistics, you don't understand life.

Fourth, twenty-four percent of American now identify as "liberal." Those would be folks on "the Left" who are generally strongly pro-choice. Even there, that little pie slice of "other religions" is still way smaller. Twenty-four percent of Americans aren't Satanists either. The entire occult field is substantially smaller than that, as my book sales will attest. And anyway, the actual Satanists I know don't do anything like this.

The truth is that literally nobody is doing this, and the entire claim is completely bizarre. I find it kind of darkly amusing that this edge of the pro-life fringe (and yes, by that I mean "batshit crazy pro-lifers" and not "all pro-lifers" has entirely abandoned religious arguments in favor of these arguments that posit alleged harm - by means that are so laughable I probably couldn't get most people to believe it if I put it in a novel.

Pro-choicers are not "pro-abortion" in any sense except that they believe it should not be illegal to terminate a pregnancy. That's not the same thing as thinking abortion is awesome, or thinking that people with ethical issues about abortion should seek them out anyway. Pro-choice means that if you don't believe in abortion, don't have one. Forcing women by law to carry every pregnancy to term is a massive violation of women's rights, full stop.

I really don't see any way around that until we can transplant fetuses into artificial wombs or something. And a lot of conservatives would oppose that too, just like they oppose all sorts of things that would actually reduce the abortion rate, like greater access to contraceptives and comprehensive sex education. It's hard to take someone seriously when they start yelling about how abortion is murder and then oppose every single measure that has been scientifically shown to reduce said murder.

But I suppose I'm running far afield with this, and nobody who really thinks liberals drink the blood of fetuses understands anything about science. Just like anybody who thinks that a quarter of the United States population follow Satanism doesn't understand probability, and more importantly knows nothing about occultism and the occult book sales which would be so much higher if occultism was anything but a tiny niche interest.

If conservatives are going to pretend that all the demonization is coming from "the Left" and call for civility from liberals, they have to take steps to rein in their own crazies instead of pretending they don't exist and at the same time insisting that the crazies on our side of the aisle are characteristic of liberals.

They're right that demonization of political opponents is rarely constructive. Even though I personally find him a terrible president and a national embarassment, this article from (liberal-leaning) Slate points out that Donald Trump is also not Hitler and never will be. But if they want civility, conservatives seriously need to get their own "lunatic fringe" in line.

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