Trump Card Would Make a Better Movie

The Poor Oppressed Christians are at it again. In their quest to create their own little media world in which nothing non-Christian - and therefore impure - ever has to darken their poor, sensitive souls, Liberty University is planning to release a film called The Trump Prophecy. Of course, it will be released in October just ahead of the midterm election, because Liberty University is totally apolitical like that. The movie tries to make the case that all the Christians who love our distinctly-un-Christian president aren't actually terrible Christians at all for doing so - because Trump being president is part of God's plan.

In post-election interviews in 2016, voters often expressed a belief that God had some role in the dramatic, unexpected outcome. For the many people of faith who see God’s hand in their own lives — from their triumph over alcoholism to their luck in finding a parking spot — it’s not such a stretch to believe that God has a hand in determining who wins the Super Bowl or the White House. That may help explain why Taylor’s and Mary Colbert’s 2017 book, “The Trump Prophecies: The Astonishing True Story of the Man Who Saw Tomorrow . . . And What He Says Is Coming Next,” won a following.

Taylor in the book recounts his traumatic experiences as a firefighter, and how, suffering from anxiety and depression, he began to hear from both God and evil spirits. God told him in 2011, he wrote, that Trump would win the election, though he expected that to happen in 2012. Trump won in 2016 despite widespread belief among pollsters and voters alike that Hillary Clinton would beat him easily. He won in great part because of the support of more than 80 percent of white evangelical voters. Taylor gained attention and made more predictions.

Trump will win a second term, he said. God has also told him, he said, that the dollar will become the strongest currency in the world and that the news media will come to see that Trump is in the right. Producer Rick Eldridge and his Charlotte-based ReelWorks Studios heard Taylor’s story and imagined it as a compelling movie for Christians who feel secular filmmakers offer them too few choices. Over Thanksgiving, he met with Schultze, who was visiting family in Charlotte. The two talked about a collaboration with Liberty in which students would get weeks of hands-on experience doing such tasks as camera work, lighting and makeup.

I don't know that God was necessarily responsible for Clinton's decision to divert campaign resources from Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania in an effort to win North Carolina and Florida. That decision proved disastrous to the Clinton campaign, as Trump won all five, the former (neglected) three by very small margins. It's easy to imagine a scenario in which Clinton could have won by pouring resources into those three northern states in which Trump was campaigning very hard. That sounds more like a flat-out strategic blunder to me rather than anything divine.


And Taylor isn't necessarily that much of a prophet. Trump almost ran in 2012 and was still seriously considering it in 2011. It's like people who bring up that old Simpsons episode from 2000 with President Trump and claim the show was prophetic. They forget that he ran for the Reform Party nomination in 1999 and won two primaries before dropping out of the race. The idea of somebody who has actively run for president becoming president is not that much of a stretch, and let's face it, a cartoonist is going to pick Donald Trump over Bush and Gore any day. He may be a terrible president, but he is a whole lot funnier.

But we'll see if Trump wins a second term. I sure hope not, but the Democrats have shown a remarkable ability to grab defeat from the jaws of victory. Be that as it may, one thing is for sure - if Trump doesn't win a second term, Taylor is a false prophet and all who follow him (and have followed him) are idolators (or, I suppose, whatever the proper sin is for following a false prophet). Not that the faux-Christians who back Trump are likely to care, but still.

Now I don't believe we're living in the "End Times." I don't even believe that whole "end of the world" nonsense is a real thing. But for those who do, or even think they might, I direct you to read Matthew 7:21-23 in light of our present situation.

21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

Because lawlessness is exactly what Trump and his administration are about. Just look at the charts of indictments and criminal charges, in which Trump leads all other recent administrations after not even two years in office. Look at the ridiculous heresy that is Prosperity Gospel, and how Trump's main spiritual advisor Paula White is even considered extreme by other prosperity preachers. For that matter, look at Trump's personal conduct. He may officially be Christian - baptized, confirmed, and all that - but he sure doesn't act like it. What was that quote again about the rich man and the Kingdom of Heaven?

But I'm mostly preaching to the choir here. Let me do something constructive instead and propose a much better movie than this one - a movie based on my terrific novel Trump Card.

For those of you still living under a rock, Trump Card is my satire of the Young Adult Dystopia genre in which the dystopia in question is the Donald Trump administration. In it you will find a plucky teen heroine doing battle with an evil cult of Kek meme magicians while trying to win a reality television competition assisted by a magical pendant that gives her unlimited luck. It has thrills, chills, laughs, and goofy caricatures of Trump and the Trump Organization. Plus it's written by me, so there's a little real occultism thrown into the mix.

So it's a winner, people! Forget this Trump Prophecy nonsense and get with the program. Trump Card all the way! And anyway, I want my freaking movie check...