Christmas Dragons

Yes, it's true. Some people really do have too much free time. Diana Rowland likes dragons so much that she used inflatable dragon lawn ornaments to set up a holiday display in her front yard four years ago. The dragons appeared to be a hit with the neighborhood. But this year, Rowland received an anonymous letter calling on her to take them down.

The inflatable lawn ornaments, black and red, purple and green, were the epitome of cool to the former police officer and morgue worker, who is now a writer of sci-fi books. And after what Rowland says was a smashing debut one Halloween, she decided to set the dragons up again for Christmas, outfitting them for the holiday season with garland, Santa hats and blue shawls meant to evoke biblical stories. The neighborhood loved them, she said. And she did, too.

This year was scheduled to be the fourth that the dragons would uneventfully grace her yard for Christmas. But then an anonymous letter came in the mail.

“YOUR DRAGON DISPLAY IS ONLY MARGINALLY ACCEPTABLE AT HALLOWEEN,” it said. “IT IS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE AT CHRISTMAS. IT MAKES YOUR NEIGHBORS WONDER IF YOU ARE INVOLVED IN A DEMONIC CULT.”

It continued.

“PLEASE CONTINUE REMOVING THE DRAGONS. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND HELP YOU TO KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS.”

Rowland did what any normal person would do in 2018; she posted the angry letter on social media. “Our dragon holiday display got fan mail!” she wrote on Twitter, posting a photo of both the letter, and, it must be acknowledged, the dragons somewhat demonically lit up at night.

A couple of points here. First, cartoony inflatable dragons are in no way demonic. Actually, they're kind of cute. The only sorts of people who might think otherwise are fundies who know less than nothing about demons and/or cults. Second, the "true meaning of Christmas" is basically so much bullshit. If you really are such an abject busybody that you feel the need to police how others - and especially others who don't share your religious beliefs - celebrate the holiday season, there really is no help for you. Minding one's own business is a real virtue.

According to Rowland, she lives in a neighborhood where people talk to each other if they have a problem rather than leaving anonymous notes, so I'm wondering if the note even came from a neighbor. Fundies of the "poor oppressed" variety really are the worst, and it would not surprise me one bit if the note was sent by one of them that happened to pass through the neighborhood and felt oppressed by a display that did not contain ancient symbols of their religion like mistletoe and snowflakes. Hey, they've done that before!

Personally, I think the dragons are cool. Instead of taking them down, Rowland went ahead and added a couple more. Clearly she understands the right way to deal with religious nutters.