Friday, December 7, 2018

Not That Kind of Nativity Play

Ah, the holiday season - a time of sad consumerism, cheesy music, and bad school pageants. At first I thought this one might be a fake story, but I dug into it just enough that I see no obvious signs of it being a parody article. Even if it is, it's too funny not to share. A mom in Scotland bought a shepherd costume for her son's nativity play, which came with its own "blow-up sheep." Apparently nobody vetted this product all that carefully, because as it turns out the sheep in question was in fact a sex doll. The picture above really says it all. Imagine that as part of your school's pageant, and try not to laugh.

46-year-old mum of two Helen Cox from Alloa, Scotland, decided to shop online for a fancy dress costume for her son Alfie’s nativity play. Seeing a shepherd costume advertised on Amazon for only £16.99, Helen was even more delighted when she realised the product came with its very own blow-up sheep to complete the look. However, when Alfie returned home from school telling his mum a teacher told him to take the sheep home, Helen was puzzled.

Her confusion only grew when upon blowing up the sheep she found it had red lips, eyelashes and best of all, a huge hole in its bottom. Doing some research, Helen found the same sheep advertised on Amazon as a ‘naughty inflatable sheep doll with backdoor pleasure hole ‘perfect for a gag gift’. Elsewhere it was being sold as a ‘stag night bonkin’ sheep’ because apparently that is a thing people want in their lives.

I really have no idea who the idiot was who thought that pairing a shepherd costume with an inflatable sex doll sheep was a good idea, but frankly I don't care. The result is just too damn funny. A couple of points that make me think story might be real are (1) the costume itself is shoddy and hand-made, probably ordered from a crafting website or something similar, (2) the mom did not actually inflate the sheep before sending it to school with her son, so she might have missed the whole "sex doll" aspect if it were, say, folded up, and finally, (3) a fake news article would probably say that the kid performed in the pageant with the inflatable sheep and nobody knew what it was because they were a bunch of clueless prudes.

At any rate, whoever came up with this costume or the story itself has added a little cheer to my holidays. I hope it adds some to yours, too, however you choose to celebrate.

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