Monday, March 10, 2008

New Sins for the 21st Century

After winking Limbo out of existence last year by Papal decree, the Roman Catholic Church has published an updated list of sins for the current century.

New sins include:

(1) Genetic manipulation. Not Biblical, but consistent with the Church's position on embryonic stem cell research.

(2) Taking drugs. Totally new and mentioned nowhere in scripture.

(3) Pollution. Follows from the Old Testament injunction making humans stewards of the Earth, though not directly addressed in Old Testament law.

(4) Maintaining income disparity. This one, at least, is right on. Social justice for the poor was one of Jesus' central teachings and is often ignored by modern churches. It's nice to see it formally addressed.

My next question is when these sins come into effect. Do we get any sort of waiting period? Or are they in effect at the moment of publication? If I forgot to recycle a can the day before the new list came out, am I still going to Hell? And regarding drugs, do legal ones count too? The injunction is actually against drugs that “weaken the mind and cloud intelligence” so I'd think alcohol would count, but so would lithium (used to treat bipolar disorder, but degrades cognitive ability over time). Caffeine is on record as making people think slightly faster, so I'd think it would be exempt.

Oh yeah, I forgot for a moment. I'm a ritual magician so I'm already going to Hell, at least according to most Christian churches.

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