Friday, January 4, 2013

Demonic Butt Babies?

One of the few things conservative Christians dislike almost as much as gays is the concept of comprehensive sex education, for reasons that have been completely discredited by actual scientific research. Comprehensive sex education does not make children grow into more promiscuous adults, and the abstinence-only programs said conservatives usually support have been found to be substantially less effective by most objective measures. In my opinion, based on the data a strong case can be made that most opposition to comprehensive sex education simply stems from the belief that sex is icky. Full stop.

On a related topic, one of the more confusing aspects of conservative Christian ideology is its utter hatred of homosexuality. While I understand that it's a violation of Old Testament law and depending upon the reading of the text may have been condemned by the Apostle Paul, there are plenty of things that violate Jewish law and drew Paul's ire that are mostly ignored by modern Christians, even conservative ones. Jesus said nothing about same-sex relationships, and one would think that if the issue was indeed so vitally important the founder of the faith might have at least offered an opinion. Again, one is easily led to conclude that the whole objection is once more rooted in ickiness. Full stop.

Leave it to Joseph Sciambra to set me right.

Sciambra is a former gay porn star who quit the business and now bills himself as an "ex-gay" Christian fundamentalist. In a recent video, Sciambra explains that the unspeakable evil of gay sex has nothing to do with ickiness and everything to do with the apparently indisputable fact that it results in the creation of demonic butt babies. These anal entities apparently pose some mysterious spiritual danger to us all that is not well-articulated. But they're out there, dammit! And they must be stopped.

In the video he said: “I’m going to talk about the devil and why he loves anal sex. Anal sex releases into the world rare demonic entities and that even in the body could be conceived as the devil and that would be given birth to anally.


Concluding his video, the former porn star tells viewers about the “spiritual and mental damage that anal sex can do. I do believe that it creates a doorway literally into the demonic, the supernatural.”

While Sciambra would probably be scandalized by the suggestion, he's in fact a perfect poster child for the comprehensive sex education movement. He's about the right age to have grown up under the abstinence-only policies of the George W. Bush Administration, and the idea that anyone could believe this nonsense that appears to be ripped from the headlines of an Onion article simply amazes me. It clearly demonstrates what abstinence-only education promotes - no real reduction in sexual activity among young people, but an unbelievable ignorance about how the process actually works and what the consequences of it are. It's not that sex in the real world is consequence-free, but rather that as those consequences go worrying about demonic butt babies should be pretty low on the list.

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M.C. said...

Here I was, behaving myself and being productive at work, staying off of my google reader and focusing on, you know, work, resisting the temptation to slack off and dive into the blogosphere, when the headline "Demonic Butt Babies" had to go and pop across my screen and ruin the whole thing. Really, who could let such a headline pass without stopping absolutely everything else and reading it.

Scott Stenwick said...

Heh. I'm diabolical that way. Consider it the conjuration of pageviews to visible appearance.

Richard said...

This explains everything! I'm not fat, I am just pregnant with a demon who has a long gestation! What will I tell my ex-boyfriend? What will I tell my wife, for that matter?!

Unknown said...

I'm afraid I have to agree with this article in the sense that the anal canal does in fact seem to be a demonic portal. However, it's not just anal sex, but the soy bean that opens the worm hole. I had no idea becoming vegetarian would end up being like some wicked car crash in to the demonic world but all the best veggie burgers slam you right on that highway to hell. And it's just like AC/DC says - no stop signs or speed limits.
There's nothing more horrifying than being trapped with that growling, demonic echo - what are you supposed to do, stand up and run? You can't, and that demon butt
baby knows it.