Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Mike Pence's Vampire Daughter

What is it with Republican political candidates and vampires? Over a year ago, Augoeides was the first media outlet to courageously report on Jeb Bush's totally true and bizarre history with the undead. Then, yesterday, Republican vice-presidential nominee Mike Pence tweeted a seemingly innocuous photograph of his family. However, closer examination of the photo revealed that Pence's daughter cast no reflection in the mirror on the adjacent wall.

At first glance Mike Pence's photo of his family dinner at New York's Chili's seems to show The Donald's running mate enjoying some nachos with his wife and daughter. But on closer inspection something is not right. Pence's daughter Charlotte, 23, appears to have no reflection - raising the accusation that she was photoshopped in.

Indiana Gov Mike Pence sent Twitter into a meltdown on Saturday when he tweeted a picture of himself and his family having dinner at Chili's - but something is not right She is sitting next to her father in a white dress, but even her frizzy hair can't been seen in the mirror.

Shocked observers have take to social media - with many joking that Pence's daughter is a vampire. Sebastian Murdock wrote on Twitter: 'Sir I don't mean to be rude but your daughter might be a vampire just sayin.'

Another shocked user added: 'Where is the reflection of the woman in white? Does Chili's cause people to become vampires?!' One surprised viewer said: 'The woman has no reflection. Explain.'

By treating these vampire accusations as "jokes" the media clearly shows itself to be in league with the undead, casually dismissing this disturbing evidence of their very real presence. And accusations of photoshopping are thrown around by skeptics whenever they encounter a picture they can't easily explain away, regardless of what it depicts. The evidence is clear. Mike Pence doesn't just pal around with vampires, one of them is a member of his family.

I cannot stress enough how serious this is, folks. Can we really allow a creature of the night to get anywhere near the White House or the Naval Observatory or the Undisclosed Location or wherever it is they stash the Vice-President these days? Who know what horrors such a development could unleash? For those of you who refused to support Jeb Bush because of his vampire-palling ways, the choice is clear.

You cannot support the Trump-Pence ticket. Vote third-party if you must, but keep American government vampire-free!

Technorati Digg This Stumble Stumble

No comments: