Friday, April 24, 2020

God Fixed My Toilet

Yes, it's true. God is apparently a plumber. I understand that in theory, if God is omnipotent, he can do anything - but seriously, I can't stand plumbing and have no idea why it's something the almighty would choose to do. I guess I must be ignorant of the Divine Plan, because God apparently fixed evangelist Sid Roth's toilet. On his YouTube show, Roth shared the Good News.

Sid Roth hosts a YouTube show where he interprets and explores people’s supernatural encounters with God. In a video posted this Wednesday, Roth shared his own experience, where he recounted how God took care of common plumbing issue for him.

“Last night, I’m ready to go to bed, and I look at the toilet, and I forgot to flush it,” he said. “And so I flushed it again, and then it totally backs up. I didn’t forget to flush it — it’s all backed up, and this is just before I’m going to bed.

After finding out there wasn’t a plunger in the house, Roth decided against the usual route of calling a plumber and instead decided to pray. “I prayed and before God, the toilet flushed perfect!” he declared.

I keep pointing out that when you call on a deity with a specific intent, that's the exact same thing as a spell - whether or not you call it "prayer." It's exactly what we occultists do, our procedures are just usually more optimized and as a result work better.

Also, as an unrelated aside, that's Roth up above. Doesn't he totally look like the kind of guy who would randomly strike up a conversation with you in public about about how God made his toilet flush? You know, like at the bus stop or something?

But even if this was basically a spell - come on! I've seen toilets back up and then flush without any divine or magical intervention whatsoever. If it's a miracle, it's a pretty sad one.

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