Friday, March 30, 2012

Alien Hybrid Elected to Public Office

Simon Parkes, a British man recently elected to the Whitby town council in North Yorkshire, has a secret that he is finally sharing with the world - his mother was a space alien. In an interview for Metro, he recounts an episode in which the alien appeared to him as a baby and explained their strange relationship.

I was looking straight into its face. It enters my mind through my eyes and it sends a message down my optic nerve into my brain, saying “I am your real mother, I am your more important mother”.’

The extraterrestrial is said to have had huge eyes and tiny nostrils. Mr Parkes, 52, said another alien encounter occurred when he was three and had chicken pox. A 2.4m (8ft) ‘doctor’ dressed as a waiter offered to help after Mr Parkes’s mother left him at home, it is claimed.

Three years later his ‘real mother’ took him on board an alien craft.

Many contactees have stories like this, but this is the first case I know of in which a sitting politician has been so open about them. Granted, the Whitby town council is not exactly the national stage, but you never know - this could be the first phase of a takeover by genetically engineered alien hybrids of the strategically important town of North Yorkshire. Parkes further explains that his experiences with aliens compare quite favorably to those with his fellow Town Councillors.

He added: ‘I get more common sense out of the aliens than out of Scarborough town hall. The aliens are far more aware of stuff.’

Given the ongoing nature of politics, truer words were perhaps never spoken.

One wonders if Parkes might be part of an ongoing diabolical research program to breed more alien hybrids. This breeding program was first revealed to the public back in 1999 in one of my all-time favorite segments from The Daily Show.

The Daily Show with Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Sex Files - Alien Reproduction
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogThe Daily Show on Facebook

As John Stewart comments at the end of the segment, "If that's the truth that's out there, lie to me." But perhaps that's what the extraterrestrials are counting on as their plans unfold.

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