Talk With Jesus!

You know how I go out of my way explaining to people that praying for a specific thing is the same damn thing as magick? I do that because the sort of Christian that generally goes around praying for things like a new car is also the sort of Christian obsessed with how evil magick is. As you can see browsing through the rituals on this site, the way I usually do magick is to call on angels by the corresponding godnames, conjure them, and charge them with specific tasks. This is literally no different than calling on God and his angels to bring you something. "I pray to get [a certain thing] in the name of Jesus is a spell, albeit a sloppy and inefficient one.

I bring this up thanks to this ridiculous new product, the "Holy Spirit Board." It's ridiculous because it's a freaking Ouija board with so Christian iconography. This is not the first time I've talked about a Christian Ouija board here on Augoeides, such as this article from 2019. It is the first ioteration of a Christian Ouija board, though, that actually advertises itself as talking directly with Jesus. I would expect the folks who actually know the Ten Commandments and understand the meaning of the word "idolotry" should have something to say about that, and I expect some of them do. I just haven't seen it so far.

Because the "Holy Spirit Board" is literally idolotrous. Ouija boards work because a phenomenon called the ideomotor effect. This consists of small, unconsicous movements in the fingers. Those movements make the planchette slide, and if you have a bunch of people working the board together, the motion can seem mysterious. In fact, the inventor of the Ouija board and other spirit communication devices from the same period likely wouldn't disagree with any of that. When a Ouija board works - that is, provides you with accurate information - it's because your psychic senses are activated and your psychic impressions are translating into those small, unconscious finger movements.

It's not impossible that a person could use a Ouija board to communicate with the Christian God, Jesus, or angels. Deities can be contacted in this way. The problem is that without psychic development, psychic senses are usually likewise undeveloped. That means that what is translating to the board is usually not viable psychic information, but rather one's own thoughts. And THAT means that anyone using this device to talk with Jesus might be getting legitimate communication some of the time. But the rest of the time they are literally communicating with their own thoughts and treating those thoughts as if they were those of Jesus. The latter case is practically the definition of idolotry - which they accuse us magicians of all the time.

Personally I'm a Thelemite and honestly couldn't care less if Christians want to make use of magical or psychic technology. Good for them! I just wish they would wake up and realize what they are doing when they use the tech, but then rail against people of other religions for doing the same. Either Ouija boards are evil or they're not. Idolotry is idolotry, no matter who's doing it. Most of all, I wish they would just leave us alone to practice as we will. We are perfectly happy to extend them the same courtesy, so long as they don't enact their beliefs in a way that threatens our basic human rights.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

#WizardLife

I know that usually I post serious magick articles on Mondays, but this story was too good to pass up. When you're out on the town and feel like trespassing at a hotel that you previously have been banned from, make sure to pack your wizard wand. You know, because reasons. I should also add that even though this is a local story, I have never heard of this person and don't know who they are.

A Twin Cities man faces assault and trespassing charges after threatening a hotel employee with a “wizard wand,” court documents show. Skylar Eros Dupree Thomas, 29, of Woodbury is charged with fifth-degree assault and trespassing, both misdemeanors, according to a criminal complaint.

Just after midnight Friday, Bloomington police responded to a Hyatt Place hotel on a report of a person with a weapon. The suspect, identified as Thomas, told police he had a “wand.” “From previous calls, [the officer] knew that the defendant was referencing a stick that had been fashioned into what looked like a wizard’s wand,” the complaint states.

Investigators said the wand was about 16 inches long and “had a hard, pointed metal part at the end and it has a knife-like appearance.” The employee who was threatened told police he immediately recognized Thomas when he walked into the hotel, because Thomas had previously received a trespass notice. The employee asked Thomas to leave, “but [Thomas] argued with him and called him racial slurs.”

Eventually, Thomas left the building, with the employee following. When they made it outside, Thomas pulled out the “wand” and approached the employee. The employee pulled out a handgun, for which he had a conceal and carry permit, the complaint states. Thomas eventually fled the scene. He is due in court next month.

Due to the difficulty of casting instantaneous magical effects, bringing a wand to a gunfight is never smart. Sure, you might be able to get off a curse or two, but that usually won't prevent you from getting shot. Your opponent will just regret it later - you know, as long as you survive.

Threatening people with magick is also entirely other than smart, whether you have a wand or not. Any time I get threats from another magician it immediately tells me that they're completely full of it, because if they could really do what they were threatening they would just cast and be done with it. That's what I do.

I've seen some complaints lately to the effect that social media has been diluting magick to the point where there's whole a lot of dumb, useless, and potentially dangerous advice out there - and while I don't think practicing magick is nearly as dangerous as some folks claim, any advice that tells you to counter a gun with a wand clearly falls into the "dangerous" category.

At this point I have no idea what Thomas was trying to do, or why he thought his wand would be effective in this situation. If I do find out, though, you all will be the first to know.