Tuesday, April 21, 2015

The United Church of Bacon

If you're the sort of person who loves bacon - and let's face it, a lot of us do - you can now make it official by joining the United Church of Bacon. While on its face this is another of the "parody religions" that promote religious freedom and are mostly made up of atheists and agnostics, the United Church of Bacon goes a step further than, say, the Pastafarians. Most people aren't really into wearing colanders on their heads or dressing up like pirates, but a whole lot of people like eating bacon.

The mockery religion was founded in Las Vegas by atheist John Whiteside in 2010. He started it as a protest to fight discrimination against atheists. Bacon prophet John said: "The hatred of atheists, atheophobia and secularphobia, has no stigma, unlike homophobia, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, and racism. That needs to change.”

A statement on their website calls for people to stand up for separation of church and state. It reads: "The skeptics’ church has a serious intent, to fight religious discrimination against non-believers, to promote church-state separation, and to demand equal rights for everyone, regardless of faith."

Fundamentalists of whatever stripe who also like eating bacon now need to make a decision. Should they give up their favorite breakfast meat, or should they go on eating food that is now contaminated by the reverence of unbelievers? Muslims and Orthodox Jews are already off the hook, since they don't eat pork, but most Christians follow no such prohibition.

The United Church of Bacon now has billboards up in Las Vegas offering bacon-themed wedding services. It seems to me that's more practical and tasty than getting married by an Elvis impersonator.

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Unknown said...

We accept turkey and veggie baconists also

Scott Stenwick said...

It always is good to be inclusive!