Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Watch Out for Unicorns

Anybody who knows anything about magick knows how dangerous unicorns are. Sure, they hide behind their sweetness-and-light exteriors, but underneath they are wild and violent creatures prone to lashing out at any moment. Recently a Baltimore convenience store faced down the wrath of one of these beasts that attempted to rob it armed with only a crowbar and seething unicorn rage.

Baltimore County Police say a person dressed in a unicorn costume and wielding a crowbar tried to rob a convenience store Saturday morning in the Baldwin community.

Officers arrived just after the High’s store opening time of 5 a.m. to respond to the robbery call.

Police say the suspect had fled in a silver car. They located what appeared to be the same car after it had wrecked. No other cars were involved in the wreck.

Miraculously, the cash and cigarettes inside the convenience store remained unmolested as the frustrated creature finally gave up and drove off. But since unicorns are by nature forest dwellers, their driving skills are subpar. The creature wrecked its getaway vehicle and ran off, but is still at large.

Residents of Baltimore, be warned! If you come across this unicorn on the lam, don't try to play music to it or touch its horn or anything like that. Just call the police - your life or at least your cash and cigarettes could depend upon it!

Technorati Digg This Stumble Stumble

No comments: