#WizardLife

I know that usually I post serious magick articles on Mondays, but this story was too good to pass up. When you're out on the town and feel like trespassing at a hotel that you previously have been banned from, make sure to pack your wizard wand. You know, because reasons. I should also add that even though this is a local story, I have never heard of this person and don't know who they are.

A Twin Cities man faces assault and trespassing charges after threatening a hotel employee with a “wizard wand,” court documents show. Skylar Eros Dupree Thomas, 29, of Woodbury is charged with fifth-degree assault and trespassing, both misdemeanors, according to a criminal complaint.

Just after midnight Friday, Bloomington police responded to a Hyatt Place hotel on a report of a person with a weapon. The suspect, identified as Thomas, told police he had a “wand.” “From previous calls, [the officer] knew that the defendant was referencing a stick that had been fashioned into what looked like a wizard’s wand,” the complaint states.

Investigators said the wand was about 16 inches long and “had a hard, pointed metal part at the end and it has a knife-like appearance.” The employee who was threatened told police he immediately recognized Thomas when he walked into the hotel, because Thomas had previously received a trespass notice. The employee asked Thomas to leave, “but [Thomas] argued with him and called him racial slurs.”

Eventually, Thomas left the building, with the employee following. When they made it outside, Thomas pulled out the “wand” and approached the employee. The employee pulled out a handgun, for which he had a conceal and carry permit, the complaint states. Thomas eventually fled the scene. He is due in court next month.

Due to the difficulty of casting instantaneous magical effects, bringing a wand to a gunfight is never smart. Sure, you might be able to get off a curse or two, but that usually won't prevent you from getting shot. Your opponent will just regret it later - you know, as long as you survive.

Threatening people with magick is also entirely other than smart, whether you have a wand or not. Any time I get threats from another magician it immediately tells me that they're completely full of it, because if they could really do what they were threatening they would just cast and be done with it. That's what I do.

I've seen some complaints lately to the effect that social media has been diluting magick to the point where there's whole a lot of dumb, useless, and potentially dangerous advice out there - and while I don't think practicing magick is nearly as dangerous as some folks claim, any advice that tells you to counter a gun with a wand clearly falls into the "dangerous" category.

At this point I have no idea what Thomas was trying to do, or why he thought his wand would be effective in this situation. If I do find out, though, you all will be the first to know.