Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Arizona Dark Lord Curses Christians

It's events like these that make me wonder momentarily if there might be something to that fake Illuminati letter I received years ago. While the letter was obviously some sort of prank, going on about how the Son of Lucifer was stuck working as a plumber in a trailer park, it's clear that the title "Dark Lord" no longer means what it once did. Perhaps that, in and of itself, is one more sign of the low-budget apocalypse.

So here's the deal. Apparently, instead of setting in motion some sort of diabolical worldwide conspiracy involving massive financial resources held by elite banking families, reptilian space aliens wielding futuristic technology, and demons in the flesh raised from the deepest pits of hell, this "Dark Lord" burned a Bible. After urinating on it. Outside an Arizona homeless shelter. Can unspeakable evil get any sadder than that?

Eric Minerault, 22, was taken into custody late Thursday after a representative of the Yavapai Territorial Gospel Rescue Mission in Prescott called police, stating that a man was burning something on their porch.

According to the mission’s Facebook page, Yavapai Territorial Gospel Rescue Mission opened in 2013 “to offer help, hope and healing to the least of these in Yavapai County” and to “aid the homeless and poverty stricken towards a fuller, hopeful, God-filled life.”

When the Prescott police arrived on the scene, they found Minerault standing on the mission steps with a burned and wet Bible near him. Reports state that Minerault was dressed in a black and red robe and was wearing a pentagram necklace.

Police asked Minerault if he had committed the act, and he allegedly confessed, outlining that he targeted the location because it was a place of Christian worship and that he was “cursing the Christians.” When the investigation dug deeper as to the motivation behind doing so, Minerault advised that he was “dark Lord.”

Idiots like this guy are the reason a lot of serious magical practitioners have recently been railing against "dark fluff" in the occult community. This guy is no practitioner, he's just stupid and doing something offensive for the hell of it - pun intended - to show how "evil" he is. I don't have a problem with Christians running a homeless shelter; in fact, that's exactly the sort of thing they should be doing if they're being true to their beliefs. So it's the last place I would want to set up some sort of anti-Christian protest.

If this is what passes for evil these days, the forces of good clearly have nothing to worry about for the foreseeable future.

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