Where Do They Get This Stuff?

Sometimes I wonder if I should just go all-out and start posting random conspiracy nonsense to get my social media clicks up. The trouble is that I can sit down and make up the most outrageous thing I can think of, and it will still be tame compared to most of what's out there. I archived a couple of these two weeks ago, and am just getting around to them now. I thought about doing them in two separate posts, but basically they suffer from exactly the same problem and really form more of a set.

This first one is from Alex Jones and InfoWars. I know I said awhile back that I was probably going to lay off Alex Jones because most of his stuff is dumber and more partisan than it is funny, but... well... just go ahead and read it for yourself. And try not to laugh - I dare you.

Infowars leader and crackpot conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, contributing to the second phase of the ongoing right-wing smear campaign against the artist who painted Barack Obama’s presidential portrait, claimed that the artist purposefully painted an image of sperm on Obama’s face to fulfill part of a globalist agenda to “have everything be a ritual of abomination.”

Today on Infowars, Jones claimed the artist Kehinde Wiley, who was hired to paint Obama, “is obsessed with sperm” and that “all of his paintings have sperm swimming all over everything.” For some reason, Jones also felt the need to clarify that the alleged sperm shape in question was a “GMO sperm” that was “fully formed.”

“You say, ‘But, it doesn’t make sense, it’s so degenerate.’ It’s a religion of degeneracy. It’s what globalism is. It’s what Satanism is,” Jones said. “So there you go, President Obama covered in sperm in new national portrait, and it’s all part of the joke in your face, because they don’t want upright strength. They want to have everything be a ritual of abomination.”

Repeat after me - finance douchebags are not occultists. They just aren't. And even if there were, let's say that the vaguely sperm-shaped (or really, comma-shaped) space in Obama's presidential portrait is really supposed to be sperm. Let's even say it really is supposed to be "fully-formed GMO" sperm (whatever the heck that is). So what? That's still not occultism, it's not magick, and it's not even a ritual. Basically, all this argument does is freak out people who know nothing about how magick works. Any real occultist knows better.


This next one is pretty much the same concept, from an up-and-coming conspiracy monger named Liz Crokin. Folks, the number of occultists in the world is unbelievably tiny as a percentage of the population. And the idea that a person who does one evil thing must be doing every other possible evil thing has to be one of the dumbest notions out there.

“Let’s look at the whole ‘Me Too” movement and let’s look at the ‘Time’s Up’ movement,” she said. “Who was kind of driving that campaign? It was CAA [Creative Artists Agency]. I’m sure you are familiar with CAA, that is the biggest talent agency in Hollywood, powerful, run by Illuminati scum.”

Note that "Illuminati scum" don't actually exist, because the people running the world are not occultists. They're finance douchebags - see above.

“You have CAA, this horrific, evil company that was driving this campaign,” Crokin continued. “They are actually trying to distract from the bigger picture and the bigger picture is that these elites are involved in raping little kids, eating babies, drinking blood, sacrificing and that kind of stuff. So they are using the ‘Time’s Up’ and the ‘Me Too’ movement as a distraction.”

“Don’t tell me that all of a sudden CAA cares about sexual assault,” she added. “My ass. They are just trying to distract from what’s deeper down the rabbit hole and what’s deeper down the rabbit hole is what they do to children, it’s the spirit cooking, it’s the sacrificing, it’s these sick, crazy, twisted rituals they do, it’s the witchcraft, it’s the occult, and that’s what they’re trying to distract from.”

Repeat after me - Hollywood douchebags are not occultists. About one person in a hundred is a pedophile, so some of them obviously do work in Hollywood. And if they become powerful and prominent, they can use their influence to get away with it. That's awful, sure, and it's high time something was done about it. But way, way less than one person in a hundred is an occultist. And to get to the people who really do rituals, we have to exclude all the armchair folks who make up the vast majority of that subgroup.

No occultists eat babies. That's not a real thing. A tiny percentage of them might drink blood in small amounts - there are "vampire occultists" who consider themselves left-hand path, but I'd be surprised if there are more than a couple thousand of them in the whole world. "Spirit cooking" is not magick or occultism. It's a term that a particular artist uses to describe their performance art sessions. I suppose you could call making offerings to spirits as "sacrificing," but you know that Conkin is totally not talking about pouring out a shot of whiskey for a spirit.

I remain absolutely convinced that the only way we can end this nonsense is to bring magick out into the open so that non-occultists can learn about it, understand how it works, and tell the difference between nonsense and real spiritual practices - whether they want to practice or not, and whatever religion they happen to follow. The FBI investigated all of these sorts of claims back in the early 1990's and found nothing - and don't tell me that law enforcement is sympathetic to witches and occultists.