InfoWars to Remain Fake News

The long saga of Alex Jones and InfoWars appears to be coming to an end. After declaring bankruptcy in response to the billion dollar judgment leveled against him by the parents of children killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School, InfoWars and its assets were put up for auction. In a delightful turn of events, the winning bidder was veteran fake news purveyor The Onion. You, from back when fake news was fake news, not just whatever news coverage folks like Jones don't happen to like.

The Onion’s monumental media scoop was made in partnership with the families of Sandy Hook victims, whom Jones owes at least $85 million after he lost a $1.5 billion case for claiming that the massacre, which claimed the lives of 20 first graders and six adults, was a hoax.

Ben Collins, The Onion’s CEO, playfully shared the news on social media, asking if anyone needed “millions of dollars worth of supplements.” As the news broke, The Onion—in true form—published an article by Bryce P. Tetraeder, the so-called CEO of Global Tetrahedron (The Onion’s “parent company”), in which the faux executive praised the conspiracy network as an “invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses.”

“With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal,” the satirical piece read.

Congratulations to The Onion for successfully taking over the dubious operations of InfoWars and kicking Jones to the curb. Bad fake news is all Jones knows and he will undoubtedly set up some other platform from which to broadcast his nonsense, but it's also true that judgments cannot be discharged in bankruptcy and whatever new platform he sets up is going to be more marginal than the one he spent decades building up. And maybe, just maybe, he'll think twice next time about setting his rabid followers loose to harrass a bunch of grieving parents.