Bad Satanists

In this case I don't mean bad as in evil nearly as much as I mean bad as in incompetent - and delusional on top of that. I suppose that isn't so surprising given that the "Satanists" in question are middle schoolers. I also am far less surprised than I maybe should be that they are from Florida, which seems to be accounting for a lot of weirdness these days.

Anyway, here's the story. Two Florida middle schoolers, 11 and 12 years old, were arrested for planning an attack on other students at their school. They told the police that they wanted to kill because they worshipped Satan. To be clear, I don't think that Satan had anything to do with it. It also sounds like they really didn't think any of it through.

Police say the pair, 11 and 12, told officers they were Satan worshippers and planned to kill at least 15 students at Bartow Middle School. On Tuesday they were searched by police who found weapons including a butcher's knife, pizza cutter and scissors.

They had a pizza cutter. Seriously? I suppose it's a little more effective as a murder weapon than, say, a spoon - but it's not that much more effective. "The Satanic Pizza Cutter Murders" has "meme" written all over it.

They told investigators they planned to drink the blood of their victims and "possibly eat their flesh". The search took place after a student informed a teacher about a possible attack in a school building. The two girls were waiting in the toilet for younger students that they could "overpower to be their victims", police said.

In a statement, Bartow police chief Joe Hall said a search of the girls' mobile phones revealed text messages plotting the attack, and officers had also found a handwritten note saying: "Go to bathroom to kill."

What this reminds me of more than anything else is the Slender Man stabbing case, with the main difference being that the young girls in question are talking about Satan rather than Slender Man. I'm sure the religious fundies are going to be up in arms about "Satanists" again, even though it's not clear that these girls know anything at all about Satanism besides him being a great big boogieman or something. Whatever they're doing, it has nothing to do with occultism or even what most practitioners call Satanism.

The good thing about this case is that the girls were caught before they could hurt anyone. In the Slender Man case another young girl was seriously injured - though she did survive. In that case it was pretty clear that one of the two girls was seriously mentally ill and the other was basically a follower-type who bought into her delusions.

We'll have to see what the psychologists have to say about this one, and here's hoping the girls get whatever help they need.