Gateway to Hell

Here's a horror movie just waiting to happen. Archaeologists claim to have recently discovered an ancient portal to the underworld once known as "Pluto's Gate" in southwestern Turkey. Italian archaeologist Francesco D'Andria led the team that discovered the site, a cave that produces toxic vapors from deep underground capable of killing any person or animal that inhales them. The digital reconstruction shown above illustrates what the site may have looked like in ancient times.

D'Andria also found the remains of a temple, a pool and a series of steps placed above the cave -- all matching the descriptions of the site in ancient sources. “People could watch the sacred rites from these steps, but they could not get to the area near the opening. Only the priests could stand in front of the portal,” D'Andria said.

According to the archaeologist, there was a sort of touristic organization at the site. Small birds were given to pilgrims to test the deadly effects of the cave, while hallucinated priests sacrificed bulls to Pluto. The ceremony included leading the animals into the cave, and dragging them out dead.

It's easy to see how this natural phenomenon could have been interpreted as an entrance leading to the realm of the dead. The Greco-Roman concept of the underworld was associated with underground sites such as caverns, and this particular cave would kill any animal brought inside - almost as if its spirit were taken from it as it passed through the opening. Today the site mostly lies in ruins, just waiting to be disturbed by a party of hapless but attractive young spring breakers who it can then kill off one by one.

Fake Illuminati Sacrifice

Up to now my coverage of the fake Illuminati has focused on the silliness of the beliefs surrounding this long-extinct organization. Back in December, though, the convergence of a particularly stupid individual and these ridiculous beliefs nearly turned deadly. Aspiring rap performer Wafeeq Sabir El-Amin somehow got it into his head that in order to become a star he had to join the Illuminati. He also somehow came up with the notion that in order to do this he had to perform a human sacrifice. So, naturally, he decided that the most logical thing to do was to shoot one of his friends. El-Amin, though, proved to be just as terrible a shot as he was a judge of the procedures of secret societies. El-Amin's "sacrifice" was hit in the hand, after which he managed to take away the gun and shoot the would-be Illuminati in the stomach before making his escape.

Both men survived, and El-Amin is now going on trial in Virginia for "malicious wounding" and, unsurprisingly, related drug charges. At the initial hearing in March, El-Amin was denied bail after Deputy Commonwealth Attorney Thomas Johnson successfully argued that the would-be rap star was a danger to the public. The trial is scheduled to begin in June.

Johnson said in court Thursday that the trial will delve into the hip-hop music culture and the notion that a secret society called the Illuminati has control over the success of some performers.

It was the belief that a sacrifice had to occur in order to join the Illuminati that allegedly incited El-Amin, Johnson said. Investigators recovered more than a pound of marijuana from the Athens Avenue home, according to the search warrant, as well as literature dealing with the Illuminati and its alleged connection to the music industry.

Office of the Readings for 2013

We survived 2012 - you know, just like I knew we would. So what is my working group doing to celebrate that we're all still here for the Equinox of the Gods? Why, the same thing we do every year - the Office of the Readings!

For those who aren't familiar with the system, the Thelemic dates that you may see written online in the format "IV:xix" are arrived at by counting the number of 22-year cycles since the original Equinox of the Gods in 1904 to obtain the upper case Roman numeral, and then counting the years of the current cycle to get the lower case one. Within each 22-year cycle, many Thelemites ascribe the Major Arcana trumps of the Tarot to the years in order starting with The Fool and ending with The Universe. So the year that we're about to enter into is IV:xxi and is thus attributed to the Universe card.

This post will remain the top article here for the duration of the Thelemic High Holy Days, from March 20th to April 10th. The Rite of the Office of the Readings is performed for all of the readings following The Invocation of Horus on March 20th. It may also be used with The Prologue of the Unborn on March 19th at your own discretion. We've done it both ways over the years.

Rituals

The Invocation of Horus
The Rite of the Office of the Readings

Readings

March 19th - The Prologue of the Unborn
March 20th - Saturn/Earth, The Universe
March 21st - Fire/Spirit, The Aeon
March 22nd - Sol, The Sun
March 23rd - Pisces, The Moon
March 24th - Aries, The Emperor
March 25th - Mars, The Tower
March 26th - Capricornus, The Devil
March 27th - Sagittarius, Art
March 28th - Scorpio, Death
March 29th - Water, The Hanged Man
March 30th - Libra, Adjustment
March 31st - Jupiter, Fortune
April 1st - Virgo, The Hermit
April 2nd - Leo, Lust
April 3rd - Cancer, The Chariot
April 4th - Gemini, The Lovers
April 5th - Taurus, The Hierophant
April 6th - Aquarius, The Star
April 7th - Venus, The Empress
April 8th - Luna, The Priestess
April 9th - Mercury, The Magus
April 10th - Air, The Fool

If you would like to perform this series and have questions, feel free to e-mail me here.

All Office of the Readings posts may also be viewed here. Our Office of the Readings series is based on this ritual by the Companions of Monsalvat.

Meth-Dealing Monsignor Pleads Guilty

Monsignor Kevin Wallin, the former priest arrested back in January on charges of dealing methamphetamine, has pleaded guilty to a charge of conspiracy to possess the drug with intent to distribute. Wallin's story is one of those "you can't make this stuff up" news items, which includes allegations that he purchased a sex shop in order to launder drug money, much at odds with the behavior normally expected of religious leaders.

Kevin Wallin, of Waterbury, admitted to conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute methamphetamine and was scheduled to be sentenced June 25. The agreed-upon sentence is 11 to 14 years.

Prosecutors said the 61-year-old Wallin had meth mailed to him from co-conspirators in California and sold the drugs out of his Waterbury apartment last year. He sold nearly four pounds in all, prosecutors said. He also bought an adult video and sex toy shop in North Haven named Land of Oz & Dorothy’s Place, apparently to launder the drug money, authorities said.

Wallin was suspended by his diocese in May 2012 after reports of "bizarre behavior," which I can't help thinking may have been due to dipping into his own supply of product. Methamphetamine use also may have fueled the risk-taking that led to his arrest. In all, Wallin's drug dealing apparently took in as much as $300,000 over the course of about six months, a pretty good haul if he could have kept it going and avoided criminal charges.

A State Religion for North Carolina?

A new bill proposed in North Carolina would allow the declaration of an official state religion. While it's unclear whether or not the bill will pass the legislature, it should be obvious to just about everyone that the very idea is not only misguided but fundamentally unconstitutional. The sponsors of the bill argue that the prohibitions that prevent the government from favoring one religion over another apply only to the federal government, which means that states are free to endorse particular denominations.

Republican North Carolina state legislators have proposed allowing an official state religion in a measure that would declare the state exempt from the Constitution and court rulings.

The bill, filed Monday by two GOP lawmakers from Rowan County and backed by nine other Republicans, says each state "is sovereign" and courts cannot block a state "from making laws respecting an establishment of religion." The legislation was filed in response to a lawsuit to stop county commissioners in Rowan County from opening meetings with a Christian prayer, wral.com reported.

Apparently the Poor Oppressed Christians feel so oppressed by having no special legal status that they are now lobbying for an official declaration that enshrines their privilege into law. Somehow, the fact that this has not been done makes them the victims here. The bottom line here is that states are not allowed to pass laws that violate the Bill of Rights. If this bill were to survive a court challenge it would mean that all the other freedoms enumerated in the Constitution can likewise be overridden by state law. That, of course, is why it will never be upheld. My guess is that this also why regular Christians of the non-oppressed variety have never bothered pushing for such a thing.

UPDATE: So it looks like the North Carolina legislature is not run by theocrats after all.This morning the sponsors of the state religion bill were told that it would not even be be brought to a vote, killing the measure. It's nice to know that there are still some politicians out there who are familiar with the Constitution.

Pat Robertson on Miracles

Before delving into today's topic, I want to point out that unlike a certain subset of occultists I have no problem with Christianity as a spiritual system. When I was younger I was Christian and quite religious, and the reason that I drifted first into Hermeticism and later Thelema was that I wanted to know how to manipulate the "levers" that make the universe run, not out of any sort of rebellion. I do have some problems with fundamentalists and with individuals who treat their spirituality as a social club, but neither of those impulses is exclusive to Christianity. I issue this disclaimer because lately it seems to me like a lot of recent articles here have either been critical toward or making fun of Christians, and I want to stress that this is not because they're Christians and I'm a Thelemite. It's because some of them keep doing such ridiculous things.

With that being said, to work. Today's silliness comes once more from influential televangelist Pat Robertson, who has been featured more than once here on Augoeides. On a recent broadcast of his 700 Club television series, Robertson explained to a viewer that the reason miracles happen in place like Africa and not here in the United States is that we're too well educated and know too much about science.

“People overseas didn’t go to Ivy League schools,” the TV preacher laughed. “We’re so sophisticated, we think we’ve got everything figured out. We know about evolution, we know about Darwin, we know about all these things that says God isn’t real.”

“We have been inundated with skepticism and secularism,” he conintued. “And overseas, they’re simple, humble. You tell ‘em God loves ‘em and they say, ‘Okay, he loves me.’ You say God will do miracles and they say, ‘Okay, we believe him.’”

“And that’s what God’s looking for. That’s why they have miracles.”

Burn Him With Fire!

Just watch the video. It's classic.

Uncharitable Politician Denied Communion

The Daily Currant reports today that Republican congressman and former vice-presidential nominee Paul Ryan was refused communion at Easter Sunday Mass. A spokesperson from the church explained that as the budget Ryan recently proposed defunds much of the existing social safety net for the poor, the plan stands in opposition to Roman Catholic teachings on social justice and compassion for the less fortunate. Therefore, allowing the congressman to take communion would be inappropriate.

The church's commitment to the poor strengthened with the ascension of Pope Francis I to the papacy, who while a bishop in his native Argentina was known for his deep devotion to fighting poverty. Despite his Catholic faith, Paul Ryan is the author of a budget plan that directly contradicts these core values, tearing up the existing social safety net America has built for the poor. Last year the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops called Ryan's budget "unjustified" and "wrong."

In an exclusive interview, Ryan says he rejects the bishop's criticisms and argues his viewpoint should be allowed within the Church. "I'm a big fan of the Old Testament," Ryan says. "I like the parts where God is punishing people with plagues and locusts, and killing people's first born children. The verses where he sanctions rape and genocide are just brilliant.

"But I'm not really big on this hippie New Testament thing. Too much peace and love, not enough hatred and violence. But hey, it's all God's word. So I don't see why I am excluded from Catholic services just because I like some parts better than others."

If the Roman Catholic Church is going to refuse communion to politicians over their support for particular measures, as it has done for a number of pro-choice bills and amendments, it seems completely logical and consistent to apply this same concept to other initiatives that contradict Church teachings on poverty issues. Of course, it's April 1st and this article is a parody, so in reality they're not about to do it any time soon.